THE
BABY (1973)
Directed By Ted Post
Image Entertainment DVD
Reviewed 03.08.04
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
Uhhh...yeah. I’m kind of laughing
to myself here -- I’m not
sure what the hell I just watched.
I don’t know much about The
Baby. I rented the film on
a whim and had never heard of it
before. It’s got the look
and feel of a 70s TV movie (think
Bad Ronald or Satan's
School For Girls), but is just
so far gone that all logic is completely
defied. This movie officially pushes
the “what were they thinking”
phrase to gigantic new heights.
The centerpiece of this incredibly
odd thriller is the main character.
His name is Baby. Baby is a grown
man with the mind and mannerisms
of a two year old. Literally. What
makes it even better is that the
filmmakers decided to actually dub
this guy’s voice with real
baby sounds and gurgles, dress him
up in a diaper, and have him sleep
in a crib. Hold the phone for a
second. You read that right. So
during the whole movie, this grown
man actor is totally hamming it
up as a two year old, creating an
aura of pure hilarity and extreme
embarrassment. And now that you
have that mental picture...
Baby lives with his mom and two
buxom sisters. We never find out
why he is the way that he is, but
that’s ok. Baby’s beastly,
man-like mom and sisters like to
prod him with a taser and dress
him in onesie-suit-shorts. A new
social worker, Ann Gentry, takes
over the job of checking up on Baby
and quickly becomes obsessed with
studying and helping him. Momma
and the sisters don’t like
that though. They want Ann out of
the picture and they’ll do
anything to stop her from seeing
Baby. Good thing Ann’s got
a few tricks up her sleeve.
Aside from the blood, swearing,
and implied sex stuff, this is a
cheap 70s TV movie made for the
big screen. From a technical standpoint,
it’s very much of the “point
and shoot” variety and doesn’t
have a lot of style. The pacing
is uneven and things get very slow
at times. There are a few shocker
moments and the ending is entertaining,
but overall, it’s a pretty
average film.
But hey, nobody’s perfect,
right? This movie features one of
the most godawful and hilarious
excuses for a plot I’ve ever
seen, so cut it some slack.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
The print here is full frame and
quite nice. Scratches are minimal
and the colors are crisp and subdued.
The soundtrack is nice and clear
and appears in mono.
EXTRAS
Nothing, just chapter stops. But
wouldn’t you have loved to
hear about the bet David Manzy lost
to get stuck with playing the role
of Baby?
FINAL THOUGHTS
Wow, this was a weird one. The
Baby is worth one viewing for
the curious and would seem to be
very much at home on a Brentwood
10-pack. Definitely a rental. |
You've gotta be kidding
In the crib
...
Mad momma
|
