BLOODTHIRSTY BUTCHERS (1970)
THE RATS ARE COMING! THE WEREWOLVES ARE HERE! (1971)
Directed by Andy Milligan
VideoKart DVD
Reviewed 01.20.04
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba

THE FILMS
I have just witnessed some kind of incompetent nightmare fairy-tale. And I mean that in a good way.

Over the past few years, I’ve come across Andy Milligan’s name several times in books and articles. I don’t know much about the guy, but he seems to be best known for his no-budget, period-piece gore and sex films. He also has a reputation for creating his films with next to nothing in terms of budget ($750 to $2000 would be the norm). Every time I’ve come across Milligan’s name, I’ve reminded myself to check out his films. VideoKart’s new budget priced 2 disc set gave me the opportunity. I took the plunge.

Bloodthirsty Butchers, a take on the Sweeney Todd tale (a barber that kills his customers and shares the goods with the local bakery), was my first taste. It’s set in 19th century England (as is "Rats"). Sweeney has a few lovers and a wife. He kills his customers for riches and gives the bodies to the local bakery. Maggie, the head baker, uses the bodies in her special pies. Sweeney isn’t a very likable guy...as a matter of fact, not too many of the characters are likable at all.

Butchers was ugly, violent, inept, and unbelievable. The combination of fairy-tale library music (which would not sound out of place in a z-grade “Wizard Of Oz”), deliciously grainy film quality, and the most laughable “gore” I’ve ever seen made for quite a viewing experience. I can’t say I enjoyed all of it, as the long stretches of dialogue really bored me at times, but there’s something going on that forces you to watch: The actors bounce between english and NY accents. The awkward and frequent sex scenes reveal nothing more than shoulders. A neon-nippled boob appears in a pie. All of the female characters seem to be pawns for something evil. It’s just...absurd.

I wasn’t prepared for Butchers and found it to be mind blowingly weird and interesting. Onto the rats and werewolves.

The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here! is one of the best exploitation movie titles ever. Unfortunately, I found viewing this movie a test of patience and stamina. This is easily the worst film I’ve ever seen. All of the quirky charm of Butchers is absent...what we’re left with is an unnecessarily long and screwy soap opera in which literally nothing takes place for the first hour.

The plot concerns the goings-on's at the mansion of the Mooney family. The family holds many obvious secrets and talks a lot. The youngest daughter, Diana, returns home after four years with her new husband Gerald. Diana has a beast-like brother, a rat-obsessed sister (who actually kills a live mouse on screen -- very nasty), and one normal brother and sister. If you can't guess that they're all werewolves within the first five minutes, I apologize for the spoiler. Lots of talking and drama ensues, but not a whole lot happens plot-wise. During the last ten minutes, the goofy looking werewolves make an appearance and fight.

The Rats... does not transcend its low budget magic into a good bad movie. It’s just boring and unenjoyable. I had a hard time figuring out how to appreciate it. Was it funny? No. Was it exciting? No. Was it shocking? Definitely not. I give up.

AUDIO AND VIDEO
Just to give you an idea of the Milligan aesthetic, both films look very similar to my grandparents’ old Super-8 home movies. Scratchy, over and undersaturated with light, and lots of inconsistencies run throughout the films. But this isn’t a bad thing -- it just adds to the odd feeling, like you’ve been there or something. I didn’t notice any compression and the sound was muffled and hard to make out. This is probably due to the source material.

EXTRAS
Just a couple of poorly executed trailers for the two films, both of which are obviously not authentic. There’s also some kind of text essay on Milligan and his producer, William Mishkin, written by the President of VideoKart. Too bad the type is microscopic and impossible to read.

FINAL THOUGHTS
I’m glad I was finally able to check out a couple of Andy Milligan films. While I enjoyed the experience of watching Bloodthirsty Butchers, I thought The Rats... was downright awful. In general, I wasn’t totally taken with my first sampling of Milligan filmmaking, but I can’t say I’ve ever seen anything else like it.

Ye olde England


Nice shot


Real hand




Old man Mooney


Don't ask, won't tell


Wolf roll