THE
CHILD (1972)
Directed by Robert Voskanian
Something Weird DVD
Reviewed 02.27.04
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
The Child has a lot
going for it. Foggy sets, a creepy
old house, ghoulish zombies, and
some outrageous gore...I’d
almost classify it as an unknown
70s horror classic. Almost.
See, it’s very rare that a
film from the Something Weird library
stands up as an actual chiller,
which is why The Child threw me for a loop. For the most
part, it was a pleasant and effective
surprise, and even a little scary.
The film is thick with atmosphere,
jump-scares, and zombie make-up
that’s actually frightening.
Many of the shots are well composed
and interesting. Things get a bit
talky at times, but that doesn’t
really take away from the overall
experience. So why can’t I
deem The Child an
unheralded 70s masterpiece? The
answer is simple...atrociously post-dubbed
dialogue by really bad actors.
Rosalie is a young girl that lives
with her father and brother in a
dilapidated old mansion next to
a cemetery. Alicianne is hired as
a nanny for Rosalie, as the girl’s
mother has died under mysterious
circumstances. Rosalie seems to
be a bit eccentric, as she visits
the cemetery during the night and
feeds cats to zombies. She also
wiggles objects with her thoughts,
makes jack o’lanterns turn
around in place, and summons up
living scarecrows. Despite the family’s
“don’t ask, don’t
tell” policy with Rosalie,
Alicianne begins to have suspicions
as gory murders ensue around Halloween.
It all leads up to a zombified showdown
as family secrets unfold.
You know, unintentionally bad movies
that you watch for laughs just don’t
mix with genuinely scary films,
at least not at the same time. That’s
where the problem lies in The
Child. One minute you’ll
jump out of your pants at that zombie
around the corner, the next you’ll
be spitting out your food from laughing
at Rosalie’s ridiculously
awful voice acting. It all kind
of cancels itself out...In the end,
that’s not such a bad thing,
but you’re left with a fun
horror movie that could have been
a lot more.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
The Child is presented
full frame and looks decent for
the most part. The colors on the
print are nice, subdued 70s hues,
and the picture itself is quite
crisp. On the downside, there are
quite a few scratches present throughout
the film. The mono audio is nice
and clear.
EXTRAS
Depending on your tastes, you may
or may not be totally into the extras
offered up here. There are quite
a few though...
We’ll begin with the 79-minute
Del Tenney film I Eat Your
Skin, which concerns the
exploits of a millionaire playboy
novelist on Voodoo Island. Shot
on location in Miami, this one features
googly-eyed and pasty-faced zombies,
voodoo rituals, some goofy violence,
and a whole lotta talk. The whole
thing was pretty boring and uninteresting
and didn’t do much for me.
On the plus side, SW’s print
looks miles ahead of any other DVD
I’ve seen of this public domain
film, so if you’re a fan,
this is the one to have.
Next up, we’ve got two brilliant
shorts featuring some really weird
kids. “The Outsider”
tells the story of Susan Jane, an
anxiety ridden junior high school
student in desperate need of some
relaxation medication. All the kids
have thick southern accents and
you’ll thrill to this 8th
grade, 50s-era soap opera, in which
Susan Jane cries out for acceptance
from the other dorks at her school.
After that, check out “The
ABC’s of Babysitting,”
which is even crazier. This is a
step-by-step how-to for the modern
50s babysitter and it makes no sense.
The main teenage actress has some
of the craziest hair I’ve
ever seen and calls the cops a lot.
Both of the shorts are highly entertaining.
Rounding out the extras is a group
of exploitation ad and poster art
(accompanied by radio spot audio
rarities) and several trailers,
including one for The Child.
Some of the trailers are a little
explicit in the sex department,
so I’ve gotta wonder why they’re
included on a disc that thematically
seems to deal with zombies and weird
kids. Seems unnecessary to me.
FINAL THOUGHTS
The Child could have
been a minor classic, but as is,
this film is still worth a look
for 70s horror enthusiasts. It’s
a good one to watch around Halloween
and is worth owning. The rest of
the disc was hit or miss, so a rental
might be in order before a purchase. |
It's Rosalie
Stair anxiety
Alicianne in the mist
Zombie eye
|
