COVER ME BABE (1970) Directed by Noel Black
DVD-R
THE FILM
"God is on vacation. Don't build fences around me. I am directing reality. Is that your line? Do you want it to be? Because I wasn't at the beach today."
And there you have it -- Cover Me Babe in 30 words or less. Heavy on the less.
In 1967, Jim McBride's brilliant David Holzman's Diary lifted the arm of the then in-vogue cinéma vérité movement, tickled it, and proportionately blurred the concept of truth, and its total acceptance, at 24 frames per second. It was intelligent and deeply moving on its own two legs; the spoof which achieved the impossible. One year later, William Greaves's enthralling Symbiopsychotaxiplasm pulled the same trick, but with an added dose of late 60s unease. Both Diary and Symbio examined the complex layers of life-as-film within the framework of film-as-life with prophetic success. So why do you need to know all of this?
In 1970, 20th Century Fox thought it would be a great idea to appropriate the ideals presented by these two films. Cover Me Babe was born. However, a few notable differences are apparent. First, Cover Me is a fictional film about a fictional filmmaker who attempts to craft art out of reality. It's about as close to real life as Love Story. Next, Cliff Barnes from Dallas has a supporting role as "a real bastard". Finally, it's a bit of a mess. Unfortunate, but true.
Tony (stone-faced Robert Forster) is an anti-establishment student filmmaker who champions existential word-vomit. He treats the ladies like garbage (Sondra Locke, in particular), but they love him. Taking inspiration from the documentary footage of Lee Harvey Oswald's death over Fellini, Tony assembles his masterpiece while deflecting interest from Beverly Hills agents. And what a masterpiece it is! A kid's death on the beach. People having sex in a car. A drag queen hanging out in a park. Hobo interviews. Many boobs. A man jumping off of a building (which miraculously utilizes four instantaneous angles via a three-man, one-camera crew). Eventually, Tony enjoys some lengthy beach padding before attempting to turn a gay man straight through the power of his film. God is on vacation, indeed.
To be fair, Cover Me Babe had a great idea. And any film based upon a great idea automatically holds an infectious charm. This one is no different. Regrettably, that infection has no chance to spread. Suffused with purposeful non-development and embarrassingly fake improvisation, the film intends to prove that life is trivial. In a way, it succeeds. This film is meaningless. Therefore, life is meaningless. I get it. But that's also why it doesn't click. From the static, unbefitting photography to the lack of effectual foresight, Cover Me Babe takes the easy way out.
And so does its audience.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
Whomever taped this off of the Fox Movie Channel had an obvious love for yellow hues. The mono sound was pretty rough as well. Still, this film never had a home video release, so it'll do.
EXTRAS
There was an inexplicable trailer for Barbarella after the film. Tony strikes again!
FINAL THOUGHTS
You can't mess with the truth. The well-intentioned Cover Me Babe invests little emotion and even less craftsmanship, resulting in a tedious, tossed off "statement" that's rarely fun -- or fulfilling -- to watch. Kind of a letdown.
— Joseph A. Ziemba, 04.15.10 | 
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