FLESHEATER (1988)
aka REVENGE OF THE LIVING ZOMBIES
Directed by Bill Hinzman
Shriek Show/Media Blasters DVD
Reviewed 06.23.05
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba

THE FILM
Stone-washed nerd: “We’re here to drink beers!”

Wavy-haired babe: “I feel like dancin’!”

Z.Cavaricci’ed bimbo: “Oh my gawwwwd!”

Long story short: Flesheater is one of the most duncical trash films I’ve witnessed in a long time. So ridiculously mindless, it almost lies beyond comprehension. This may be director Bill Hinzman’s follow up to his especially rank (you know, great) The Majorettes from ‘86, but somebody forgot to add the special sauce this time around. And character names. And a plot. And an attempt at fun. Curious? Don’t be.

Two jack o' lanterns and a two-second mention tells us it's Halloween. A dozen or so of Pittsburgh's least alluring actors plan to spend the night on an old farm; beers, tongues, and plenty of skank. A guy on a tractor finds an old grave, digs it up, and unleashes Bill Hinzman! Arr-gh-grr! Returning to his role as "First Zombie" from George Romero's Night Of The Living Dead, Hinzman starts the throat chomping and soon cascades the entire town into a horde of extreme gore deliverin' zombies. There's a mini-NOTLD rip off, a Halloween costume party, and quite a bit of bared flesh, including some gratuitous female full frontal. Oh yeah, and a little girl in an angel costume gets bitten, turns into a zombie, and gets her head blown off with a shotgun. High intellect, high taste.

In the mid 80s, some eager fans at a horror convention recognized Bill Hinzman for his earlier zombie portrayal. As quoted in an interview on this disc, Bill thought, "Man, I've gotta do something with this." Independently shot on 16 mm for release with Magnum Video in 1987, Flesheater was the result. Dumbing down to the extreme, this is a plotless mess of escalating, theatrical gore (very Herschell at times), eighth grade dialogue ("Don't worry. I do like you. I just want fool around."), and an annoying evil synth score that refuses to let up. Hinzman's direction is somewhat stylish, but when there's nothing to direct, does that really matter? There's no mood, the acting is embarrassingly bad, and the sets look like VFW rejects. I tried hard to ignore all that and enjoy the film for what it was: a series of cheap zombie gore vignettes. Alas, all I felt was dreariness; for the film, for its even dumber ending, and for having sat through the entire thing.

Flesheater is a great example of dated late 80s dreck: misguided and too reliant on bad taste gross-outs to make any kind of lasting impact today. If Halloween was a living entity, he/she would be deeply peeved. Blasphemers!

AUDIO AND VIDEO
Flesheater appears in a pristine anamorphic widescreen print. I didn't notice a trace of film damage and the 16 mm grain is in full effect. Basically, this film will never look better...so crisp you can see the grease make-up on these poor people's faces. The mono sound is OK, but the source material is clearly muffled and inconsistent at times. Some random fuzz was also on the loose.

EXTRAS
The centerpiece of the supplements is a 35 minute featurette titled "Back Into The Woods." Amidst clips from the film (both actual and behind the scenes) and clips of Hinzman in Night Of The Living Dead, every aspect related to production is covered. Hinzman, producer/actor Andy Sands, and effects man Gerry Gergely appear on camera to discuss the film's origins and tribulations. I found the whole thing slightly more entertaining than the film itself, despite a few George Romero jabs from Bill H.

Taking a cue from The Majorettes disc, up next is a 42 minute collection of stills (that’s a lot of photos), accompanied by the film's ridiculously awful soundtrack. In full. Do not listen to this under any circumstances, lest you yearn for mullets, line dancing, and bedroom goth, all at the same time. Rounding things out is a shot on video public access commercial for Goodfella’s Brick Oven Pizza featuring, you guessed it, Bill Hinzman as the First Zombie. Awesome. Also included are four trailers for other Media Blasters releases, including an original video trailer for the feature.

FINAL THOUGHTS
I’d love to join in on the dancin’, but my party balloon has been deflated. Flesheater is entirely skippable, existing only for straight-up gorehounds with sweet tooth for brainless carnage. Thanks for the good looking print, but I'll pass.

Uncle Hinz


Ooo La La Sassoon


For real, I had that TV


Majorettes shanghai