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FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND (1981)
Directed by Jerry Warren
Retromedia DVD
Reviewed 05.10.07
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
Archie Bunker once proclaimed, "I
hate this day...and it ain't over
yet!" These words were not
spoken in vain.
96 minutes. 96 minutes.
That's how long it takes our old
pal Jerry Warren (The
Incredible Petrified World,
Invasion Of The Animal People)
to prove that he's never seen Blood
Feast, The Texas Chainsaw
Massacre, or Halloween.
In 1981, Jerry broke nearly twenty
years of cinematic silence with
Frankenstein Island. Kind
of. You see, time had flown, but
J.W. had not. This early 80s film,
essentially a remake of Warren's
Teenage Zombies, looks,
sounds, and feels like 1968. That
is, 1968 as interpreted by retirement
community stewards on the cusp of
Alzheimer's. They're pissed. They
can't remember to wear pants. But
goddamn it, they're going to Frankenstein
Island.
Frankenstein Island! Plotless!
Reckless! A frightening potion of
numb emotions! And yes, most likely
Jerry Warren's finest hour. Check
this out: Four adult men in a hot
air balloon land on an island.
Incredible.
From there, we meet unattractive
Amazons, Sheila Frankenstein, Cameron
Mitchell reciting Poe, and a bunch
of old guys wearing turtlenecks
and ski-caps. Sloppy Joes are eaten.
Someone says "I'll fix that
clown!" and a breathtaking
karate fight goes down. Insertions
of John Carradine (on loan from
The Best Of Sex And Violence
or The
Nesting?), needle-addict
mannequins, and psychedelic skulls
interrupt without reason. There
is, indeed, a Frankenstein monster.
He looks nauseous, but does a good
job during the climactic fifteen
minutes of mayhem. Again, incredible.
Point. Shoot. Zoom a little. Frankenstein
Island is a testament to Jerry
Warren's arrested development. As
for the film's content? It could
probably lay the groundwork for
a new religion. Cryptic, hysterical,
and unintentionally pessimistic,
the abnormal Island is
the portrait of a man who hates
the day-to-day rigors of living
and no longer cares. Therefore,
he has lost his mind. Anything goes;
no one understands. Think Runaway
Nightmare on an Ozzie
And Harriet playing field.
Then, think of a drunk man named
"Jocko", an eye patch,
and his cigarette-stained cackle.
Jerry, you've really scared me this
time.
On a related note, Frankenstein
Island will absolutely put
you to sleep. Don't sweat it. Hate
is a strong word and the day ain't
over yet.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
This beat-up print jumps, heaves,
and has a thing for orange hues.
Compression pops up from time to
time, but it's not too bad. A nice
mix. Retromedia's DVD went out of
print a few years ago, but was recently
reissued with a lower price and
alternate cover art.
EXTRAS
Just two. First, a brief behind
the scenes still gallery, complete
with a hilariously testosterized
metal-jam soundtrack. The drums
are fake. Second, there's an interview
with star Katherine Victor (aka
Sheila Frankenstein), who talks
for three minutes about the ill-tempered
Mr. Warren, this film, and "electrical
gizmos". Sadly, there was no
mention of Jocko.
FINAL THOUGHTS
A remarkable statement, Mr. Warren.
Frankenstein Island is
not to be taken lightly. This is
96 minutes of distilled Jerry Warren
psychosis, which may require fifteen
days of intense scrutiny for total
comprehension. Hilarious. Glum.
Draining. Brave people will accept
the challenge. Others will settle
for Creature
Of The Walking Dead. Be
brave. |
Who old-farted?
Me and my LSD
Sheila Wig-enstein
Fear the caucasians
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