THE
POSSESSED (1976)
aka HELP ME...I’M POSSESSED
Directed by Charles Nizet
Video Screams DVD-R
Reviewed 08.04.05
Buy
it from Video Screams!
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
It all happened on the train ride
home. This morning, my Lucky Charms
were sweet as can be. The work day
treated me just fine. But then I
nodded off on the way home. Visions
appeared; Super Ropes licorice flailing
against a black backdrop, a blinking
hunchback with a hacksaw, a cardboard
spookhouse dungeon. When I awoke,
I had no idea where I was. California
desert stretched endlessly and a
lone man was standing to greet me.
His name was Dr. Blackwood. It has
happened again.
Fever dreams...impeccable trash
films...who can tell the difference?
Just in time for your next vacant
late-niter comes The Possessed,
an avalanche of steaming, free-form
brilliance. Shot for cheap around
the outskirts of Hollywood (including
Bronson Canyon) in 1974, it's like
Al Adamson directing Doctor
Gore, frivolously topped
off with a touch of Ed Wood's waning
touch circa 1959. And lots of wigs.
Yes, it's that good. After a small
scale theatrical bow in 1976 (as
Help Me...I'm Possessed),
the film fell off the earth, aside
from a brief vid-run courtesy Video
Gems in 1984. Ten years behind in
its "explicit" content
and fifteen passed with the Patty
Duke slang, this one gets it right.
WAY right.
Dr. Arthur Blackwood runs a tight
ship at the Blackwood Sanitarium.
Balancing his “forces of evil”
experiments while keeping the rogues
gallery of helpers/inmates in check,
the good Doc oversees plenty. And
how! Underwear clad girls feel the
bloody whip of Mr. Jittery Q. Hunchback.
Random nobodies like the afro’d
organ player and Zolak the sex-fiend
make goofy faces. Girl fondling
and torture, complete with orgasmic
moans. Gummi-worm corpse ornaments.
That’s only the half of it.
Out of nowhere, Arthur’s wife
shows up (?!) and a cop says “She’d
make any man happy.” Mrs.
B is out to help a dense Sheriff
uncover the mystery behind recent
killings of “young people.”
And what of the killings? The POV
monster shots tear people apart;
only the flapping Twizzlers remain.
If you haven’t keeled over
from excitment, just wait for the
ending.
With sets surely cribbed from Al
Adamson’s Blood
Of Dracula’s Castle
and acting that begs for mercy,
The Possessed makes a bid
for the greatest plotless film of
all time. No more than a series
of obtuse, often violent set pieces
set to discordant synthesizers,
Director Charles Nizet (the guy
behind ultimate sleazer The
Ravager) shows a surprising
amount of restraint when it comes
to dirtiness...which is why the
film succeeds so smashingly. Instead
of seeing the perversion, we get
howlers like “When I saw Mr.
Zolak’s head severed from
his body, I felt a definite sexual
thrill. I must be very careful.”
Random shots disappear and float
into the subconscious as the sweet
monster growls (elephant? orangutang?)
burst into segments. The adult themes
filter through a PG-13 sensibility,
washing the whole thing with frivolity.
Blood and mean-spirited torment
become instantly hilarious when
the torturer can’t keep his
wig on.
The cheapness permeates and the
lunacy prevails. Please don’t
let me wake up.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
Judging from the Video Gems logo
montage (awesome, by the way), Video
Screams's DVD-R comes straight from
the source. Therefore, you can expect
an average looking picture, slightly
dupey, yet entirely watchable. I
was very satisfied. Some compression
showed up during the opening nite-time
scenes, but you won't notice it
much after that. The mono sound
was loud and crisp.
EXTRAS
Truly, no extras are needed.
FINAL THOUGHTS
The Possessed is by far
one of the most supreme trash surprises
I’ve stumbled upon this year.
Just get your hands on it. |
Blackwood, I presume
Still stylish
Fritz Beethoven
Hunchback mirth
|
