SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT (1984)
SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 (1987)
Directed by Charles E. Sellier Jr./Lee Harry
Anchor Bay Entertainment DVD
Reviewed 12.22.05
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba

THE FILMS
Summer, 1989. Since Child's Play was rented out, my friend Bill and I packed up our Huffy bikes with copies of Silent Night, Deadly Night and Mötley Crüe: Uncensored (his pick, I swear). Arriving at his house, we popped in Silent Night and got ready for something. Bill's Dad walked by, just as the robber in a Santa suit plugged a store clerk full of holes during the opening minutes of the film.

"CHRIST ALMIGHTY! WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU TWO WATCHING?!"

The tape was ejected and forcibly returned. Smashed and blocked.

Winter, 1990. During a junior high party, Silent Night was plopped into the VCR. Everyone sat transfixed. Ten minutes into the tape, it was announced that a game of spin-the-bottle was warming up in the basement. My bottle landed on a cute girl named Jenny, but she asked if we could talk instead of kiss. Upstairs, the video soon ended. Scoffed again. Bill delivered the gory details. Santa Claus impaled on naked girl on antlers? Then he decapitated a guy that was sledding? As I'd find out later, all of it was true. The film would go on to reach regal heights of forbidden, adolescent legend over the next few years.

Winter, 2004. Scoring a dog eared copy of the USA Home Video release, I finally witnessed the full-on filth of Silent Night, Deadly Night, with my wife in tow. We laughed, we stared in disbelief, we felt touched by the non-Christmas spirits. God bless us...every one.

Amidst controversy and protests, Silent Night, Deadly Night was pulled from theaters by distributor Tri-Star Pictures within its first three weeks of release in 1984. As evidenced by my own experiences, the film would go on to achieve a notorious reputation on home video, where it ultimately staked its claim. Imbued with greasy violence, 80s sex in wood paneled rooms, and hilarious Catholic angst, Silent Night is the most anti-holiday trash statement since the Christmas morning tussle in John Waters's Female Trouble. And that was just one scene!

After witnessing the brutal deaths of his parents at the hands of a psychotic Santa on Christmas Eve, messed up youngun' Billy heads for the orphanage with baby brother in tow. Three years and one mullet later, Billy witnesses a couple sexing it up in an upstairs bedroom at the home (WHAT?!). Nuns don't like it. Billy gets the belt, then tied up to his bed, for he must be punished! Ten years and one rude tan later, Billy lands a job at Ira's Toys, a local indie toy shop. Key the faux Doobie Brothers work montage. On Christmas Eve, this year's store Santa calls in sick. Billy is elected to don the suit. He tells kids, "I don't bring toys to naughty children. I punish them...severely." It's obvious what happens next: Billy lets loose when an Italian Stallion tries to rape a woman at the company party. Death to everyone! Not yet satiated, Billy turns his attention towards the rest of the town, then ultimately back to the orphanage. Those stinking Nuns are sure gonna get theirs.

With its high production values, grade school gore effects, and staggering lack of taste, Silent Night, Deadly Night is an apex in garbage cinema. At first, it's a shocking attack on holiday cheer and those poor ol' saps, the Catholics. Then, it's a derivative, grisly slasher. Soon enough, the film loses all footholds in reality, relying on jaw-dropping jolts (a priest shot dead whilst in a Santa outfit...in front of a dozen children!) to keep the fix going. The goals seem to be clear; ruffle as many traditional feathers as possible, exorcise a few subconscious demons on the part of an original novel called Slayride, and deliver a fast paced, over the top slasher filled with loads of T&A and bloodshed. It's an uncomfortable, yet entertaining, landmark in exploitation cinema and home video's baby face was forever changed as a result. At least if you were 11 years old.

In 1987, the true spirit of Christmas was in the air; it was time to make more money. L.I.V.E. Entertainment, home video rights owners of Silent Night, Deadly Night, hired director Lee Harry and four writers to chop up roughly 40 minutes of the first film, shoot approximately 45 minutes of new footage, and compile a sequel with the results. The metaphysical depths that Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 manages to touch will cut off your circulation, burst your laughing veins, and then leave you for a depressing death. It's just that retarded.

Through a series of flashbacks, Billy's little brother, Ricky, relates the events of the first film to a psychiatrist and a tape recorder. After awhile, we get to the new footage, half of which is still told in flashback. Since Ricky was a tiny baby when the scarring events of Part 1 transpired, THIS ALL MAKES PERFECT SENSE. Little more than a series of outrageous, stand alone gore scenes, ala The Toxic Avenger, the film winks along merrily until it all ends in barrage of shotguns, hilarious dialogue ("GARBAGE DAY!") and Nun violence. Ricky (Eric Freeman) is like a mutant offspring of Katherine Hepburn and Arnold Schwarzenegger, a buff putz spewing one-liners and showcasing vicious eyebrow talents. When he takes his soon-to-be-strangled girlfriend to a theatrical showing of Part 1, we get the joke. At least director Harry keeps it lean and stylish. Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is a grating dose of downbeat laughs; mostly a complete bore, but watchable for the sheer senselessness of it all. You'll never need to see it more than once.

I know Bill's Dad was just trying to be a good parent. The lure of Jenny's lips stole the taboo from the television screen. Finally, as an adult, there was nothing left to stop me. Silent Night, Deadly Night more than lived up to the years of anxious, forgotten build-up. Now that’s some holiday cheer.

AUDIO AND VIDEO
This is a two-sided DVD, with one film and its accompanying extras on each flip. Carrying on with Anchor Bay's usual high standards, both films look terrific. Almost too good. Part 1 holds a disclaimer; the print presented is fully uncut, culled from two separate sources. One of the sources (mostly shots of lingering violence) appears darker and less crisp than the rest of the film. Otherwise, it's smooth sailing for both films, which look nearly identical. Both are presented in anamorphic widescreen. Colors are bright, film dirt is M.I.A., and the mono sound for both was crisp as bells.

EXTRAS
Given the the mysterious history of these movies, it's great to see such a thorough, well packed release. On Part 1's side, we've got a generous poster and still gallery (lobby cards, VHS covers, newspaper ads), a group of quotes from outraged parents, politicians, and actors called "Santa's Stocking Of Outrage" (Mickey Rooney sez: "The scum who made that movie should be run out of town."; eight years later, he'd star in Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker!), and an amazing 35 minute audio-only phone interview with director Chuck Sellier by author Adam Rockoff. The two discuss the film's corporate banishment at the hands of Tri-Star, shooting conditions, and the seemingly anti-Catholic statements that run throughout. A very fascinating and well paced listen.

Flipping over to Part 2, there's an original theatrical trailer which features footage from both films, another poster and still gallery (behind the scenes photos, storyboards, newspaper ads), the original shooting screenplay in PDF format (that's for your computer), and a full length commentary track with director Lee Harry, writer Joseph Earle, and actor James Newman. It's mostly a worthwhile listen. Surprisingly, the guys behind such an insanely stupid film turn out to be intelligent and articulate. All three participants know exactly what they're dealing with and explain everything you'd ever want to know about the strange production. Written in six hours? Who'd a thunk it?! They lose steam towards the end, relying more on joking around than film discussion, but that's OK. They've never even been paid.

Rounding it out is an informative, tightly written booklet by Adam Rockoff, author of the must-have slasher resource Going to Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film, 1978 to 1986.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Have you wallowed in the dirty gutters of Don't Open 'Til Christmas and To All A Goodnight? Get ready to drop in on the snowy sewers. Silent Night, Deadly Night is the sleaziest holiday horror film ever made. Anchor Bay's low priced double feature of the film and its hilarious-yet-worthless sequel is an A-1 package all the way. This Christmas, let a piece of exploitation film history into your dirty little heart.

He wishes you a very merry Christmas


Hangin' tough


What a beautiful morning!




"I know all your MOVES!"


Saturday night heat


Ode to the umbrella