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A continuing exploration of the curious and obscure in vintage cinema.
A continuing exploration of the curious and obscure in vintage cinema.

SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE III (1990)

Directed by Sally Mattison
New Concorde DVD

THE FILM
Once over the hill, you pick up speed. Or so they say.

By 1990, Slumber Party Massacre -- the entity -- was at a crossroads. It had already blessed the world with The Slumber Party Massacre (1982) and Slumber Party Massacre II (1987). That was the problem. Those films defined two distinct eras of excellence in slasher filmmaking -- one, the barebones, derivative comfort of the early 1980s, and two, the hysterical, ridiculous excess of the late 1980s. On top of that, both films were hits. Big hits. Pressure was on. A choice was made. Instead of walking off into the sunset, Slumber Party Massacre decided to give 'em one more shot in the arm; one more chance to proclaim, "Hey! Look at me! I still got it!"

Midway through Slumber Party Massacre III, a guy drops a piece of pizza on the floor. This was, by far, the entertainment pinnacle of the film. Lordy, lordy, look who's forty.

Slumber Party Massacre III harkens back to The Slumber Party Massacre with its simplicity, violence, and hardy-har-har feminist overtones. Only this time around, the female-crafted series (here, director Sally Mattison and writer Catherine Cyran) phones it in. Collect. There is a volleyball slumber party. There is a pansified, preppy killer, who was molested by his Uncle as a child. Therefore, he is impotent. Therefore, he substitutes sexual frustration for hump 'n' poke electric drill killing. Tee hee! Small talk. Dumb talk. Flubbed lines. Visible set seams. Unlikeable actors. The final 15 minutes delve into gory insanity, with one particular molestation-kill holding an unsettling aura over everything else. Other than that, emptiness prevails. Can somebody drop another piece of pizza? Please?

If lines such as "I don't know if anyone who wears underwear in public could be called discriminating!" don't convince you of Slumber Party Massacre III's utter fatigue, the dire Guns 'N' Roses rip-off soundtrack will. The film is full of listless events, dorky details, and tired conventions; it's a 1990 slasher that's too late for the party with both its age and siblings. I guess they can't all have the discretion of The Night Brings Charlie.

In hindsight, Slumber Party Massacre -- the entity -- is at peace with this flawed decision. Glory fades. Pizza stains do not. That's got to be good for something.

AUDIO AND VIDEO
The New Concorde DVD of Slumber Party Massacre III, like the previous discs in the series, is now out of print. The quality and presentation are very similar to part two's release. A clean, full frame print with very little damage, consistent colors, and matching stereo sound. No bells. No whistles. Lots of neon bathing suits. Looks good to me.

EXTRAS
Oh boy! More text biographies for actresses Maria Ford, Hope Marie Carlton, Brandi Burkett, Roger Corman, and trailers for The Slumber Party Massacre, Slumber Party Massacre II, Slumber Party Massacre III, and Emmanuelle: First Contact. That last one will throw you for a loop. Shot on video inserts, huge fake boobs, and 90s feather-cuts. So erotic.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Over the hill and feelin' it. Blustery climax aside, Slumber Party Massacre III is everything you'd expect from a second slasher sequel in 1990. It's dull, exhausted, and barely gets by on minimal effort. As a result, the Slumber Party Massacre hit machine grinds to a halt. Remember the old days.

— Joseph A. Ziemba, 04.26.07






Volleyball practice


What does this mean?


I want my Drill-Tar


Cancel the pizza