SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE (1986) Directed by Carol Frank
New Concorde DVD
THE FILM
Get outta my dreams. And into my car.
Billy Ocean was a wise man. Although Mr. Ocean's greatest opus fails to appear in Sorority House Massacre, its message duly applies. Nobody wants to hear about dreams when they could be gassing it up in a Camaro. Are you listening, Sorority House Massacre?
Offended, the film throws a pair of checkerboard stretch pants at my head. I accept -- they match my pineapple tassle shirt perfectly. Something clicks. Sorority House Massacre likes to talk about dreams. I'd prefer to drive around in Camaros. However, we both appreciate the finer points in throw-up 80s fashions. Truce.
Sorority House Massacre is a tame, sober take on Slumber Party Massacre with a fresh new twist: dreams. Final Girl Laura (Angela O'Neill from Grandma's House) spends a lot of time having dreams, talking about them, and trying to figure them out. Meanwhile, the rest of the film enacts the biggest shanghai of Halloween since Offerings, but with a couple of glaring differences. The killer wears Nikes, Ocean Pacific t-shirts, and has a large beer gut. The female Dr. Loomis investigates from the privacy of her own living room. There's a lengthy montage in which a group of girls try on Cindy's clothes (she's filthy rich!) while dancing to a fake Hall & Oates song. Clothes fly through the air. Drum fills align perfectly. Then, the killer leaps from the ground and jumps through a second story window. Forget Haddonfield; I like the smog of L.A.
With a touch of blood, a smattering of unsavory boobs, and a dependency on talk, Sorority House Massacre will never top the charts. But we can't all be Billy Ocean. Sorority is a 74 minute, mainline injection of everything cheapo-yet-linear in '86 slasher chic. The bizarre apparel, the barren, smog-ified Los Angeles locations, the weird dialogue ("He's a real pale fucker!"), the simplified techniques; it all works out for a night of doped-up entertainment. Expect no more, receive no less.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
Long out of print, the DVD of Sorority House Massacre is very similar in presentation to the Slumber Party Massacre II DVD, which was also released by Roger Corman's defunct New Concorde. The full frame print is a little dark, the colors are muted, and the audio sounds muffled at times. The smallest bit of compression is evident during darker scenes, but I could still appreciate the killer's choices in novelty surf t-shirts. All's well.
EXTRAS
If you can pry yourself away from the enticing text biographies (Roger Corman and actors Angela O'Neill, Robert Axelrod, Nicole Rio), trailers for this film, Slumber Party Massacre, Emmanuelle: First Contact, and Seduction Of Innocence are yours to cradle. The Sorority trailer features shots from Slumber Party as well as Spanish subtitles. Talk about Extras!
FINAL THOUGHTS
Beep, beep. The rational, bottom-rung slashstick of Sorority House Massacre is not a priority, but I'd take it for a spin in a Camaro anytime. Further articulation is impossible. Like Billy Ocean, I ran out of hits.
— Joseph A. Ziemba, 06.14.07 | 
A magnificent seven
Into Cindy's closet
How to catch a killer
Team Nike
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