TERROR
IN THE HAUNTED HOUSE (1958)
Directed by Harold Daniels
Rhino DVD
THE FILM
Welcome to the longest 77 minutes
of your life...each one filmed in
Psycho-Rama! Wowee wow!
There’s nothing quite like
a Stinker With A Gimmick. Allegedly
presented in Psycho-Rama, a process
by which split second images indulge
the viewer with “subliminal
communication,” Terror
in The Haunted House is a true
test for your eyelid stamina. Unless
of course you like making sandwiches,
fixing cars, and watching a wispy
girl scream at EVERYTHING. If that’s
the case, you’re a weirdo
and should seek help immediately.
All others, prepare for some expert
pause action in order to chuckle
at the subliminal cartoon images;
they’re the only consolation
in this talky cop-out.
Newlyweds Phillip and Sheila leave
their homes in Switzerland and return
to California to begin life anew.
Almost. Sheila seems to be having
a recurring nightmare involving
a haunted house point-of-view shot,
some kind of whiplash from her stay
in the loony bin. When Phillip pulls
up to their newly rented house in
the country, watch out! It's the
house from Sheila's dreams. The
rest of the film takes great pains
to explain all action with dialogue
instead of showing it. It all involves
some kind of axe murder from the
couple’s past and everyone’s
a suspect. All five of ‘em.
Terror is kind of like
The
Screaming Skull in the
form of an overlong episode of The
Veil. Just without Boris Karloff
and any inkling of enthusiasm. The
script rambles endlessly and the
five characters that appear onscreen
are cookie cutters of the most generic
variety (think square-shaped instead
of Smurf-shaped). Even the axe-wielding
ending appears awkward and forced.
So what’s left? Psycho-Rama!
Here’s what we get: a mad
doctor with a mouse in his mouth,
a devil-face, a crazy guy with a
large tongue, a skeleton, and a
giant cobra. Sometimes a little
text is placed beneath the image
(“Get ready to scream! Scream
bloody murder! Die Dead! Rent Rhino
videos everyday!”). Curiously,
the image quality and 80s computer
text that appears with the “Rent
Rhino...” tag appears to be
the same on all of the images except
for one (“Scream Bloody Murder!”).
Given the conflicting runtimes from
other sources, I have a feeling
that the original messages were
stripped out and replaced by Rhino
for their version (which hit VHS
tape in the early 90s). Not surprisingly,
I'm hardly devastated.
Well, we've got a great title and
Psycho-Rama...anyone? Guys?
AUDIO AND VIDEO
The clear, full frame print looks
marvelous, especially for a budget-type
release. The tone was consistent,
the picture was crisp, and there
were very few instances of print
damage. Mono sound, sounds good.
EXTRAS
Chapter stop freaks: knock yourself
out.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Need a little lethargic boredom
to deaden the ol’ ticker?
Terror is the film for
you. I’d like to say it's
worth seeing for the dopey Psycho-Rama
instances, but do yourself a favor.
Take a gander at the screenshots
and leave it at that. Die dead!
— Joseph A. Ziemba, 04.05.05 |
Sandwiches time
Mouse mouth
Barely made it
Die, my darling
|
