THEY DON'T CUT THE GRASS ANYMORE (1985)
Directed by Nathan Schiff
Image Entertainment DVD
Reviewed 05.30.04
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba

THE FILM
Welcome to the edge of unreality. Don’t get too close though, as beyond that cliff lies complete insanity. Wait...I said don’t get that close...too late! Nathan Schiff, armed with his magical Super 8 camera, has pushed you completely over. You are now insane. Being in this state of mind, you can now attempt to make your way through They Don’t Cut The Grass Anymore, the third and final entry in Schiff’s Super 8 gore trilogy. There’s no turning back.

Disgustingly unsettling? One of the weirdest films ever made? I’d have to say that both apply to Grass. Shot in five days as a response to Nathan Schiff’s then-recent experiences working in a corporate atmosphere, Grass grazes the line between humorous satire and voracious gore. It’s a marked change from his previous two films, Weasels Rip My Flesh (sci-fi giddiness) and Long Island Cannibal Massacre (semi-serious weirdo horror), coming across as some kind of warped nightmare, not fit for waking eyes.

In place of a traditional plot, Grass goes for the literal jugular. In essence, it’s a 70 minute extreme-gore set piece, somewhat tied together by various commentaries regarding material wants and the upper crust of the hoi-poloi. The whole film is inhabited by living cartoon characters, propelled to live by violence and hilariously deadpan dialogue. Two bumpkin Texans arrive in Long Island, taking up work as gardeners in the affluent ‘burbs. Billy Buck, the brains of the operation (John Smihula), wears overalls, clown make-up, and a straw hat. The other, Jacob, wears a hooded-old man rubber mask. All the time. Yes, these two roam the streets, go to the movies (a strange gore-movie-within-a-gore-movie lights up the screen), and spout off about the cocaine-sniffin’ yuppies...always dressed to the Halloween hilt. About every five to ten minutes, B.B. and J. bump off and mutilate various cast members, who are introduced seconds before. No one finds it odd. The abrupt ending will leave you scratching your head forever.

I found Nathan Schiff’s previous films to be lo-fi masterpieces. Grass left me in a different place, enjoying the weirdness on display, but ultimately bumming me out. What’s the downfall? Mostly, it was the gore, which literally made me sweat. Over and above any H.G. Lewis concoction, we witness several full on face mutilations, complete with skull scooping and eyeball smashing, tons of flesh/entrails ripping, and a dog chowing the insides of a shotgun-blasted woman’s crotch. Yes, some of it was humorous, like the firecracker-mouthed dummy, but for the most part, the endlessly lingering, Super 8-rough gore was just way too over the top.

All in all, if the gore was scaled back, Grass could’ve been just as strong as Schiff’s other offbeat and charming work. In fact, the non-grue scenes are a distillation of Schiff’s brand of surreal and bizarre cinema -- gore drenched Barbie dolls, complete with deadpan narration on the state of of the world, an axe attack to “Town & Country” magazine, and the Jacob character puking through his mask at the sight of some carnage. As is, the insane gruesomeness completely overpowers the smart and humorous underpinnings, making for a uneven watch.

AUDIO AND VIDEO
This full frame print isn’t quite as crisp as Long Island Cannibal Massacre, Schiff’s second film, but more in league with his first, Weasels Rip My Flesh. Scratches and lines are plentiful, but what do you expect? This is a feature length Super 8 film from 1985. Imperfections exist and that’s what Super 8 is all about. I want the scratches, dirt, and film grain. I want the genuine experience of filming in someone’s backyard. I was not disappointed. The soundtrack, a mish mash of Orgy Of The Dead by way of Beast Of Yucca Flats and some old 78s, came through nice and clear, in all it’s record scratchin’, camera noise glory.

EXTRAS
Another home run, carrying on the top notch extras featured on each successive Schiff disc. Following the general pattern of the previous two releases, we have an eighteen minute Grass specific interview with Director Schiff, a nine minute interview with star John Smihula and friend Fred Borges, a still gallery (this time comprised of actual on-set photos as opposed to screen grabs), four of Nathan’s teenaged Super 8 shorts, and finally, a fantastic full length director’s commentary.

Ironically, after being somewhat put off after viewing Grass, Schiff’s commentary ended up being the most enjoyable yet. We find out his personal reasons behind the creation of the film (thanks to the “cutthroat world of corporate corruption”), how it wasn’t originally intended to be such a gore-fest, and the need to cut ninety percent of the humorous aspect due to a rushed shooting schedule. Unfortunately, he seems to shy away from exposing the ingredients in most of the gore effects, aside from some painted Bisquik and soaked cotton. I guess it’s true -- a magician never reveals his secrets. An involved and lively track that I thoroughly enjoyed.

The four shorts contained herein are far more interesting and elaborate than those appearing on the Weasels disc. We get some rubber monster masks, Dracula on the loose, a pet turtle rampage, and a mind-bending look at germ obsession. Couldn’t be better.

FINAL THOUGHTS
If you’re a fan of Nathan Schiff films, you’ll want to pick up this DVD for the total package. The supplements are essential to the completist. If you’re new to Mr. Schiff’s oeuvre and not particularly fond of extreme gore, you may want to check out his previous two films and leave it at that.

Chops are licked


Sneakers & saws


Patterns alive


Real stuff?