The Varrow Mission (1978)
Directed by Peter Semelka
Substance DVD
THE FILM
It's October, deep in small town America. The local high school is having a Spook Alley competition. It's like a Spook House competition except it has "Alley" in the name. A group of students and a grown-man named Tiny are given the use of an old mill, way back in the woods. As they prepare their Spook Alley, weird things start happening. Hooded figures prowl the dank hallways. A weird lab is discovered in a cleverly hidden room. And, one member of the group meets The Varrow...The Earth will never be the same.
Well, that's more or less what the movie is about. It has a very charming meander feel to most of it. The kids (ranging from freshman to seniors) walk around the neighborhood, engage in some rivalry with fellow Spook Alley-kids and hang out in the enormous mill. During long stretches, the kids are wandering around, all talking at once, and the viewer is just hanging out with them. At those times, the movie is excellent, which is very lucky for the movie because it never seems to feel the need to pick up the pace. It never begins galloping along towards a high-intensity climax and never really loses its restraint. It's a late-70s throwback to what folks thought the 50s sci-fi movies were like but with synths and Close Encounters Of The Third Kind sequences thrown in.
The actual Varrow portion of the film involves that weird lab, a gooey transformation and a guy who just screams "Am I Swedish?!" By time that part of the film actually occurred, though, I had drifted into a beautiful and hazy nostalgic state. The plot kind of got in the way of that. Question for Dan: But, while watching all these barely defined characters walk around, were you bored? Oh sure. A bit. The film mumbles along within the mill, playing all kinds of music and keeping people just This Side of Characterized. At the point where I thought "Hmm, should something happen here?", the hooded figures arrived. At the next point where I thought the same thing, nothing happened and that's where I saw the light and began moving towards it. The warm, comforting light. Then, the Varrow showed up. And, I felt almost bothered by the fact the movie chose to put in a plot at this late point.
In and of itself, The Varrow Mission might put you to sleep. It's a competently made number with lots of youngsters strolling around (some in costumes) and investigating a creepy place. The Close Encounter scenes and talk of UFO-ish legends add some extra promise of threat. Nothing much happens and, at the end, it feels like we've watched the pilot for a show that never went to series, with the Varrow getting in different adventures every week.
I think I enjoyed this movie on another level. The setting of the film. The time the film was made and the time that it was sent in. The meandering wander of the kids just hanging out and being kids. Memories and thoughts kept popping in my head throughout. I thought of Project UFO, Kenny And Company, Halloween safety films and Afterschool Specials, Mutilations, "The Empty House On Haunted Hill" from Ball Records' "2 Complete Halloween Ghost Stories" album, Curse Of Bigfoot, Happy Days, my own childhood Halloween adventures, Screams Of A Winter's Night, Hauntedween, Curse Of The Blue Lights and a dream I once had about a building with a haunted elevator and monsters on the non-existent 113th floor.
Maybe this happens in every film. Maybe films like this automatically spark my mind to every other reference point like it. I don't know. For some reason, The Varrow Mission sent me all over the place. And, the thought that I might be annoyed by a sci-fi/horror film more interested in aimless wander and babble then actual incident flew out the window. I enjoyed this.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
I watched the Substance DVD. It looked OK. The sound, however, had a lot of buzzing. The kind you used to get when you copied things from VCR to VCR and the audio wire was wonky. It didn't detract but it certainly didn't add.
EXTRAS
The DVD promised a "Slide Show". I imagined it in my mind and, subsequently, felt there was no need to watch it.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Look, this one brought back all these memories. I couldn't not enjoy it. An impossibility. Speaking purely objectively, this would have been better as an hour-long special. At about 50 minutes, the pace would have been tightened and it would have cooked along. And, I would be saying "Boy, I wish this was longer because I'd love to meander around with these kids more." So, the lesson here is, you can't please everyone so why not try to please me?
— Dan Budnik, 10.06.11 |
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