| Article
by Joseph A. Ziemba
“Our
newly released 'Orgy Of The Dead'
will be a pleasant surprise; it
was filmed using a widescreen process
and exciting color. It could well
become a classic in its field.”
-- Edward D. Wood Jr., "Hollywood
Rat Race"
It’s time to give credit where
credit is due. Much like the radiant
feast of pleasures unspooled before
our eyes throughout the runtime
of this magnificent opus, a celebration
is in order. Yes, it’s time
to recognize A.C. Stephens and Ed
Wood for the greatest achievement
this side of Sexicolor. With the
Wolfman howling to my right and
the Mummy cracking wise on my left,
Bleeding Skull officially declares
Orgy Of The Dead the greatest
trash film of all time.
Believe me, I know this is no easy
feat. The competition is utterly
fierce. However, a single viewing
of Orgy is enough to convince
anyone that nothing is impossible
in the world of low budget, really
bad cinema. Out the window with
a standard review! Orgy Of The
Dead is so mind blowingly awful-yet-wonderful,
its containment can’t be held
back. So join me on a trip to the
shaky fake cemetery circa 1965,
watch your head in the fog, and
keep your eyes peeled for sights
so astounding that you may faint...
First, some back story. Sometime
in the mid 60s, Edward D. Wood Jr.
was paid $600 to write a novel titled
“Orgy Of The Dead." From
there, it was developed into a streamlined
screenplay (omitting many short
stories), then produced and directed
as a feature length film by A.C.
Stephens. Ed worked as a production
assistant and casting director on
the film and was responsible for
hiring the immortal Criswell as
a “lead,” perhaps one
of the greatest casting decisions
ever. Now onto the good stuff.
Orgy Of The Dead is a film
unlike any before or since. Its
mind blowing outlandishness will
never be equaled. This is quintessential
Ed Wood, the perfect synthesis of
every quirk that makes his work
so alluring and timeless. Although
Wood didn’t direct the picture,
you’d never know it. Scenes
of night/day flopping, a lead actress
that shouts every single line, Criswell
reading cue cards, rattlesnake stock
footage, and LOADS of excessively
nonsensical monologues all fill
the film to bursting proportions.
The plot? Surely you must be joking!
Orgy has the must amazing
excuse for a plot I’ve ever
come across. Ah, to live in a day
and age when a film like this could
actually be produced...Criswell
is the lord of the undead. Each
full moon, he and his Black Ghoul
princess rise from their tombs to
enjoy an “evening of pleasures.”
The pleasures consist of passing
judgment on the newly deceased.
But that’s not all -- the
newly deceased are all topless women,
pleading for a peaceful afterlife
through themed “interpretive”
dance! Before this month’s
festivities begin, the viewer is
introduced to a horror novelist,
Bob, and his bitchy girlfriend,
Shirley. These two mongoloids drive
around, searching for an old cemetery
to, you know, spark those creative
writing juices. Despite Shirley’s
cries to “SLOW DOWN,”
the car crashes and the two find
themselves at the edges of this
undead initiation.
You can’t pull a fast one
on Criswell though. Soon enough,
the dark lord summons his henchmen,
the Wolfman and the Mummy, to capture
the two humans. Both of the monsters
are there for some kind of peculiar
comedy relief. The Mummy seems to
have stolen his act from a dime
store Vegas performer circa 1955
and the Wolfman howls and grunts
following the lame jokes. Exactly.
From there, Bob and Shirley are
bound up (“Tie them that they
may watch!”) and forced to
observe the proceedings. The film
kicks into overdrive. For 90 minutes,
audiences are stupefied by ten themed
topless dances (none of which are
the least bit sexy, all of which
are drop dead, boob-shaking hilarious),
including the “one who worshipped
gold,” “the one who
walked the streets at night,”
and “the one who in life worshipped
cats.” Intercut with the dancing
is some of the very best in genius
b-movie dialogue from Criswell,
the Princess, Bob, Shirley, the
Wolfman, and the Mummy. It’s
like you’re right there with
‘em.
Unfortunately the party can’t
last forever. At the stroke of dawn,
the undead must return to their
resting places or face damnation.
Criswell and the Princess take too
much time deciding what to do with
the humans (“No one wishes
to see a man dance!”) and
just as they’re about to lower
the boom, it’s disaster. The
sun comes up. Skeletons replace
flesh and Bob and Shirley are whisked
away to the auto crash site. As
it all comes to an end, Ed Wood’s
press book synopsis can speak for
itself: “The young writer
and his fiancé are then rescued
from their wrecked car. Was it a
dream? Only the night people know.”
Obviously, Orgy Of The Dead
exists on a different plain than
most b-movies. Normally, you can
count on a trashy film for a few
laughs, some thrills, and a real
good time. Orgy is all
this and much more. The downright
surrealism projected by the sum
of its parts turns the whole thing
into some sort of crooked nightmare.
In trying to make a straight forward
nudie, the extreme eccentricity
of Wood has turned this film into
some kind of off-kilter Bunuel-esque
rarity. The dance sequences are
often intercut with Criswell blindly
nodding his head as the princess
looks on. Same for Bob, Shirley,
and the monsters. Where does the
person end and the “acting”
begin? What the hell is Criswell
talking about? Where does it all
take place? Why does it all take
place? Questions...best left unanswered.
Throw gold at her!
As of right now (April
2004), Orgy Of The Dead
remains unreleased on DVD and its
previous VHS incarnation (Rhino,
1994) is very much out of print.
There are no plans to release this
film by any company that I know
of. I’m left with a couple
of thoughts. Just about every one
of Wood’s major films, save
for The
Sinister Urge are available
on DVD at your favorite local retailer.
How did this one get lost in the
shuffle and why isn’t it on
the boards for release? If Rhino
could release the embarrassingly
bad Pretty Models All In A Row
(a sexploitation bore-fest starring
Wood), then why not this home run?
Orgy Of The Dead is the
greatest trashy b-movie of all time.
It manages to be everything a perfect
“bad” movie needs to
be and then some. Let’s not
let it rot in the vaults. Get this
print transferred, find someone
to record a commentary, scour the
earth for supplements (some super
8 footage of Ed on set appears on
The Haunted World Of Edward
D. Wood Jr. disc from Image),
and get it out there. I’m
crossing my fingers...
Orgy Of
The Dead hit DVD on May 25,
2004 from Rhino. Read Bleeding Skull's
review!
WORKS
CITED
Grey, Rudolph. Nightmare Of Ecstasy:
The Life And Art Of Edward D. Wood,
Jr. Portland: Feral House, 1994
Weldon, Michael J. The Psychotronic
Video Guide. New York: St. Martin's
Griffin, 1996
Wood, Edward D., Jr. Hollywood
Rat Race. New York: Four Walls
Eight Windows, 1998 |
