| Article
by Joseph A. Ziemba
The great
William Castle kicks off his biography
(Step Right Up! I'm Going To
Scare The Pants Off America!)
with an age old question. What attracts
people to horror films? Why do they
like to be scared? Bill chalks it
up to a suspension of disbelief;
a comfort in knowing that the nightmare
is happening to someone else and
that we, the audience, are free
to indulge in the thrill of it all.
Makes sense. Especially if you're
watching something like Rosemary's
Baby or Black Devil Doll
From Hell. Wait. What?
Vintage trash films are the epitome
of thrill-seeking cinema. They offer
a constant barrage of glaring opposites,
usually within the same film. Hilarity
and shudders, intellect and stupidity,
gore and subtlety; anything is fair
game. That's an attractive quality
not so far removed from Mr. Castle's
realm of gimmick-tinged spookers.
There was a mysterious "me
against the world" charm inherent
in nearly every no-budget wonder
(or blunder) produced before 1990
that will never exist again. Information
was harder to come by back then.
People were less informed. As a
result, each film was a true representation
of the minds behind it; no matter
how sincere, feigned, inept, marvelous,
or boring the end results might
be. That's the cusp of individuality.
That's why the exploration of vintage
trash films will forever be a source
of happiness, relaxation, and thrills,
at least to me. More than any previous
year, 2005 epitomized these feelings.
Listed below are the top ten spooky
trash films I viewed for the first
time during the past year. As always,
the formats and presentations are
often irrelevant, forever giving
way to each film's "unique"
experience. That's just the way
it is. As the DVD floodgates open
(films like Don't Go In The
Woods...Alone! and Curse
Of The Living Corpse are scheduled
to hit the streets in 2006), I can't
help but smile. Digital trash unearthings
are beginning to rival the VHS flood
of the early 80s and that's good
news for the entire world. Let's
munch out!
 |
10.
The Mummy And The Curse Of
The Jackal (1969)
Academy VHS • Full
Review
"If being a doddering
old fart allows you to concoct
a plotless hallucination of
surf instrumentals, next door
neighbor monsters, and home
enthusiast film skills, please
point me towards the time
machine. The incompetence
on display is a watershed."
|
 |
09.
Axe (1977)
Something Weird DVD •
Full
Review
"Seemingly coming out
of nowhere, Axe shines like
the grimy nugget it was meant
to be. The success of the
film lies in its musty, off-kilter
brevity...a great example
of low-budget brackets working
as an advantage, rather than
a detractor." |
 |
08.
Brain Of Blood (1972)
Image Entertainment DVD •
Full
Review
"This is not your typical
Al Adamson film; this is the
Al Adamson film. With Hemisphere's
Brain Of Blood, he
and Sam Sherman manage to
distill what those charms
are all about: making the
most with your available budget.
Brain delivers in
spades, spazzily shot and
somehow effective." |
 |
07.
The Town That Dreaded Sundown
(1976)
Warner Brothers VHS •
Full
Review
"When something’s
done right, it’s done
right. There’s no need
to question it...a blunt and
unnerving film, despite its
feeble shortcomings. The facts
of the case itself are enough
to spook you...it’s
a testament to director Pierce’s
decisions on a technical level
that really make this film
successful." |
 |
06.
Ogroff (1983)
Video Screams DVD-R •
Full
Review
"N.G. Mount's debut feature
is an evil fairy tale from
a warped mind, a gore soaked
series of creepy tangents
that only make sense as the
entire picture unfolds. Out
of control? Disturbing? Unbelievable?
Hilarious? All apt descriptors,
yet none fully convey the
experience that is Ogroff." |
 |
05.
Frightmare (1974)
Image Entertainment DVD •
Full
Review
"Enter P. Walker, UK
arse-kicker. Frightmare
is a marvel of effectively
layered techniques. The combination
of unquestionable creepiness
and admirable intelligence
adds up to a rare bird indeed.
Be thankful for this one;
horror films with this much
power are few and far between." |
 |
04.
Moonshiner’s Woman (1968)
Something Weird DVD-R •
Full
Review
"Part public service
announcement, part family
travelogue, part hilarious
crime expose. All held together,
(just barely) with cheap masking
tape and a whole lot of narration...a
gem of slanted cheapness that
can never be bought or planned
on: funny, surreal, and positively
strange." |
 |
03.
Satan’s Black Wedding
(1975)
Retro Shock-O-Rama/ei Cinema
DVD • Full
Review
"With its warbly piano
score, picture postcard locations,
and abrupt climax, Satan's
Black Wedding feels like a
self-contained slice of a
bigger pie that doesn't exist.
We jump right in with the
bloody shock of the opening
minutes and the displacement
doesn't let up...creepy and
amateurishly fresh, even thirty
years later." |
 |
02.
The Thrill Killers (1964)
Media Blasters DVD •
Full
Review
"The Thrill Killers
does the impossible. While
radiating innocent charm through
its use of bongo-fied music
and small scale sets, the
film pulls off a feat which
very few intentional horror
films from this era can still
accomplish: it’s unsettling.
It's a portal into 1964 and
a celebration of what makes
vintage, low budget horror
movies so endearing and comforting." |
 |
01.
The Last Slumber Party (1987)
VCI DVD • Full
Review
"The Last Slumber Party
is a landmark in American
trash filmmaking, a completely
disconnected 72 minutes that
I could have easily watched
for six hours. Regardless
of the filmmakers' original
intentions, they've succeeded
in crafting one of the most
surreal, hilarious, and unbelievably
perfect 80s trash films of
all time...get ready for a
new champeen." |
RUNNER-UPS
Big hugs to these poor fools...meet
the runner-ups.
Black Devil Doll From Hell
(1984)
Truegore DVD-R • Full
Review
The Monster Of Camp Sunshine
(1964)
Something Weird DVD • Full
Review
The Legend Of Bigfoot
(1975)
World Premiere Home Video
VHS • Full
Review
Rocktober Blood (1984)
Vestron VHS • Full
Review
Girls Nite Out (1984)
Media Blasters DVD • Full
Review |
