THE CARRIER (1988)
Directed by Nathan J. White
Magnum Home Entertainment VHS
Reviewed 03.07.08
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba

THE FILM
I find myself watching a film in which Hefty-bag clothed adults enter apocalyptic chaos over the proprietorship of cats. Naturally, such savoir-faire garners my utmost respect.

The Carrier has a license to confuse. By that right, the sky's the limit. And so, with Romero-lite ambition in tow, the film proceeds to lather on a series of unusual plot movements (Bigfoot, we love you) before snowballing into victory. In other words, I have no idea what I just watched, but it was very good. Also, I have no clothes on. Just Hefty bags. Confusion is contagious.

Did Jake burn his parents to a crisp? Maybe. But aside from prompting a man to yell, "WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE!", that's nothing to concern ourselves with. The big picture looks like this: A strange plague has run amok in a small town. Jake, the anti-anti-hero, appears to be The Carrier of said disease. He touches something, it melts. Sure. Unless his hand lands on an inanimate object. In that case, the object itself becomes a conduit of death. And what do the townsfolk use as a litmus test? You guessed it! Lil' chicks and kittens. I'd like to believe that the combined forces of The Bible, a good doctor, and hundreds of people clad in saranwrap, bubblewrap, and CinchSaks could prevent a bloodbath in the name of cat smuggling. But, it cannot be so. And Jake falls in love. Jerk.

If The Carrier had a plumpier budget, serious actors, and sober editing, disaster would be imminent. While disaster plays a large role in the film itself, the overall composite is utterly distinct. This is a blast of finite strangeness that can only be secured in the context of cheap obscurity. We've got the plot itself. Weird as hell. We've got the surreal high school play-acting. Lovely. We've got the admirable-yet-failed bid for trite social commentary. Why not? Though light on actual bloodshed, The Carrier's penchant for jittery tangents and bizarre occurrences knocks down 99 minutes as if they were 70. As The Nesting can surely attest, that in itself is an accomplishment. As are dueling cameos by Camus's "The Plague" and Dr. Seuss's "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish".

Come to think of it, I don't even want my clothes back.

AUDIO AND VIDEO
Crisp, colorful, and a pristine print? Magnum, get outta town.

EXTRAS
Thanks to whoever wrote this screenplay for including the line "WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE!" Billy Joel seems to grow less relevant with each passing year. We can't let that happen.

FINAL THOUGHTS
What've you got to lose? Atypical in every sense, The Carrier resides on a befuddled little island in the middle of nowhere. Though it lacks assumed trash-kicks, its charming pursuit of substance goes a long way. Plus, there are the garbage bag costumes. See it.

Carrying


Ouch


"CATS OR DEATH!"


Suffer Or Fashion