DEADLY GAMES (1982)
Directed by Scott Mansfield
Monterey Home Video VHS
Reviewed 01.17.05
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba

THE FILM
Sheriff Roger makes his onscreen splash with a beautiful display of human emotions: "I saw a hooker in 'Nam get killed like that." Later on, he points a revolver at his wife and whispers, "...BANG," just to let her know who's boss. We are in the presence of special people. They play deadly games. Pick up the dice.

Deadly Games. Deadly Games! DEADLY GAMES! The title alone is enough to make you crap your pants in stark, raving fear. Lucky for us, one time director-writer Scott Mansfield and his cast of underachievers derail it all with the utmost in bad film elegance. Instead of nail biting tension, we get...Dick Butkus in a towel. Want some bloodshed? Sorry, pal. No room for that. I'm too busy rollin' a twelve sided die over this homemade Dracula board game. As the stupidity celebrations hit a pinnacle, Mansfield and Co. discharge the weirdest, most atrocious ending I've ever seen in my life. Unquestionably, hookers in 'Nam knew how to party. So does Roger. I'm glad they invited us.

Opening: black gloves, that Dracula game, and big boobs. Linda Lawrence strips in the moonlight of her bungalow apartment. A ski-masked killer invades! Linda flies out the window in a poof of hackjob slow motion. Meet Keegan Lawrence (Jo Ann Harris). Keegan is Linda's sister and she's back in town to Get To The Bottom Of Things. She also babbles endlessly, impersonates vaudeville comics, and makes Terry from Three's Company seem subtle. Soon, you will pray for someone to put her out of her misery. Keegan falls for Sheriff Roger, who also owns a movie theater with his gimp friend, Billy (Steve Railsback, fresh offa Trick Or Treats!). As the town revels in adultery (big man on campus Dick Butkus included), Roger, Keegan, and Billy get their own "hangin' with some friends" montage, which includes old movies, playing an organ, and throwing a football. The killer's identity is extremely obvious. Except when he dies and someone we've never seen before attacks Keegan on a giant rope swing. Inside the movie theater. Freeze frame. Fin.

Obviously, Deadly Games does not offer terrifying situations or a pointed series of events. Instead, we get an alarming smoker's hack and a lengthy game of middle-aged football, all wrapped up with a ski mask killer and a technically inept bow on top. Sounds like a good trade off to me.

AUDIO AND VIDEO
Hike on your moon boots, 'cause it's snowing. Sprinkled throughout the film are tape blips and constant white spots, all perfectly captured in a sea of black. The picture was blocky and looked like a copy of another tape. The mono sound fluctuated between inaudible whispers and speaker retiring screams. I predict an implosion for this tape's future.

EXTRAS
Monterey's logo screen includes an old tree and a desert sunset. So beautiful.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Deadly Games is a master of the two "H"'s; horrible and hilarious. It's a fake slasher-thriller with a low IQ that has no right to be so entertaining. Don't pass it by if you have the chance.

Hangin' with Keegan


Leader Of The Pack


Roll the dice


See the ski mask? No?