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DEMONWARP (1988)
Directed by Emmett Alston
Vidmark Entertainment VHS
Reviewed 05.03.07
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
Bigfoot. Trivial Pursuit. George
Kennedy with mismatched socks. Vidmark,
DO NOT FUCK THIS UP.
Of course, they did. But not too
much.
The challenge of the Bigfoot aka
Yeti aka Sasquatch trash-gore film
was more than met by Shriek
Of The Mutilated (1974)
and Night
Of The Demon (1980). Mutilated
Girl Scouts. Bigfoot rape. A Yeti
with delectable taste in Addidas
sneakers. What more do you need?
Well, in 1988, Vidmark Entertainment
produced the direct-to-video Demonwarp
and proclaimed, "You have no
idea." But we kind of did.
Imagine Don't
Go In The Woods if filmed
in '88 rather than '82, only with
a fake Bigfoot instead of a bead-faced
killer, lots of running, some breasts,
and a tacked on zombie-alien climax.
That's pretty much Demonwarp.
And that's pretty much how they
fugged it up.
Big slob George Kennedy (Just
Before Dawn) is enjoying
a leisurely game of Trivial Pursuit
when Bigfoot breaks in and kills
his daughter. Then, a group of Bigfoot
trackers (including Billy Jacoby
aka Buddy from Just One Of The
Guys -- yeah!) set up shop
in the same cabin a few weeks later.
For the next hour, 80s trash ebullience
takes hold. Woods. Sex. Practical
jokes. A sweet boombox. A butt-rock
Bigfoot peering through bushes,
running, deactivating dynamite,
and ripping people's heads off.
The always-enthusiastic Michelle
Bauer (Death
Row Diner) roaming around
naked while big George K. calls
B-Foot a "wooly bastard"
and a "six foot fleabag".
There's even a random photographer
kill scene, just like Don't
Go In The Woods! Then, Bigfoot
changes back into a scientist. Uh-oh.
With a final 35 minute swoop, Demonwarp
exchanges its hysterical gestures,
awkward pauses, bad edits, and uncomplicated
approach for a dozen dimestore zombies,
a wet alien puppet, Satanist sacrifice,
and worst of all, an Explanation.
Heresy! In trying to bang up the
buck, director Emmett Alston (New
Year's Evil) and pals at
Vidmark piled on too much unbefitting
junk. It doesn't gel. The left-field
addition of new elements wipes the
good stuff clean, rather than expanding
upon it. Not even Billy Jacoby's
shameful Jack Nicholson-ized zombie
schtick was able to cut through
the resulting confusion. Still,
that first hour -- what a riot.
Kennedy! Change those socks!
Thanks to that backstabbin' 80s
excess, the foolproof Bigfoot trash
film that was Demonwarp
is reduced to sharing a seat with
Return To Boggy Creek
at lunch. As the film stares at
the "cool" Sasquatch table
(Blood
Stalkers just sat down),
a tear runs down its cheek. I hope
you're happy, Vidmark.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
Here's what I wrote down: "Typical
look. Nice." See? Simplicity.
It never fails.
EXTRAS
Towards the end of the film, you
can hear somebody yell "Action!"
before Michelle Bauer gets sacrificed
to an alien. Not as impressive as
Pat Patterson's clapboard prowess
in Doctor
Gore, but it's still worth
a snort.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Those wooly bastards. Demonwarp
should be enjoyed in your living
room at some point, but a bloated,
inconsistent finale keeps the film
from lining Bigfoot's Trash Film
Trophy Shelf. It's a shame, too.
There's always room for more. |
Socks, Incorporated
Butt-rock Bigfoot
Blame it on the zombies
That's the spirit
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