DIARY OF THE DEAD (1980)
Directed by Arvin Brown
Vista Home Video VHS
Reviewed 03.15.07
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba

THE FILM
Mother-in-law, how can I express my hate for thee?

"When you die, nobody's gonna do better than me...or celebrate more!"

It's a start. Welcome to the $86,000 Pyramid.

Diary Of The Dead is Stanley's ode to hating his rich mother-in-law. And/or, his ode to longing for her $86,000 estate. If you've ever read an EC comic book, what comes next is a given. Or is it? Vista Home Video shills the PG rated Diary with "A tale of horror from beyond!" and "Power extends beyond the bloody grave!" All lies. Yet, unlike mammoth big box swindles such as The Night After Halloween and Die Sister, Die!, the tense, efficient Diary looms beyond antiquated marketing tricks. Remember Cousin Eddie's Hamburger Helper comment from National Lampoon's Vacation? Well, this film works the same way. It does just fine by itself.

Life is the pits. Stanley (TV bigwheel Hector Elizondo), an infertile, dog-hating, unemployed, and all around jerk, knows it. Living with confused wife Vera and bitchy mother-in-law Maude, Stan spends his time planting trees, arguing with a cuckoo neighbor, and steaming over Maude's refusal to help out with the bills, despite her alleged 80K fortune. Naturally, this leads to thoughts of doing in ol' Maudie. Only Stan can't go through with it. When an ancient friend named Ethel stops by for a visit, a lagging heartbeat leads to a sinister opportunity. And another. Stanley never was one for patience. He'll take "Things That Can Be Killed" for $86,000.

The soft rock suites, the ratio of apt to ham acting, the studied photography, the tame content; Diary Of The Dead passes through humdrum 1970s TV Movie Land and fits right in. With longtime television director Arvin Brown at the controls, that's no surprise. Thankfully, the unexpected distinction lies elsewhere. Due to a chiseled script, several fresh twists, and a terrific, ambiguous ending, Diary sidesteps the obvious and sticks it to ya...but good. The film builds, layers, and moves. Heavy psychology is inferred. Odd moments creep in. A world of uneasiness opens up. In the end, Diary is an obscure succcess story, one which bucks false pretense with solemn confidence. Rare in every sense of the word.

AUDIO AND VIDEO
Vista The Great. This tape appears to have been barely rented (or watched). Regardless, the print itself is presented with much class; all things visual are bright, deep, and clear. The pleasant mono sound coordinated perfectly.

EXTRAS
"Rewind Or Be Fined." That's a new one to me. I like it.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Poor Maude. Poor Stanley. Lucky us. The horror-lite Diary Of The Dead is not a crucial film. Yet, it's strong, unique, and exciting -- all above-the-table traits that aren't normally associated with unknown VHS curios. If the chance presents itself, climb the pyramid.

Stanofski


Maudlin'


Matress issues


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