DIE
SISTER, DIE! (1972)
Directed by Randall Hood
Gorgon VHS
Reviewed 12.15.04
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
Take a look at that cover. It rasps,
“Go ahead and SCREAM AMANDA,
it can’t help you now!”
The exquisitely trashy cover painting
depicts a frenzied beauty sprinting
through a concrete passageway that
features bloody hands protruding
from the walls. How could I resist
this tape?
Then it happened. I discovered the
decaying truth behind a fresh allure.
Turns out, there is no bloody-handed
concrete wall. And that’s
just for starters. Amanda is a geriatric
old bat that spends most of the
film bedridden. All of the other
characters are pushing either 50
or 60. The entire film is a souped
up soap opera with little-to-no
horrific qualities. Now, I’ve
come to a rational conclusion. I’ve
been unknowingly duped by the worst
of the worst in bad film genres:
the lifeless TV movie.
Things start out slow, but intriguing.
Enjoy the initial interest while
it lasts. Amanda lives in a gloomy
old house/mansion, which was left
by her deceased father. Harboring
some kind of inner turmoil, the
lady’s previous two suicide
attempts have resulted in failure.
That’s where Edward comes
in. Edward is Amanda’s younger
brother and he’s got a scene-chewing
gift that would make Will Shatner
blush (“I play FOR KEEPS!”).
If Amanda dies, Edward gets the
house, the inheritance, the whole
shebang. Naturally, Edward wants
to make sure that Amanda’s
next suicide attempt is a keeper.
Even if he has to grease the wheels,
so to speak. He hires on a nurse
named Esther, who holds a shady
past of her own. Secrets are revealed
(aren’t they always?) and
it turns out that sinister doings
have gone on in the house, concerning
Amanda, Edward, their younger sister
Nell, and their father. A couple
of thirty second dream/flashback
sequences are hilariously weird
(one involving a bloody decapitation).
There’s also a store owner
with a knack for words. Nothing
else really stands out.
Die Sister, Die! is about
as irksome as bad TV movies get.
At first, I thought I’d enjoy
the characters and situations that
seemed to be unfolding. After fifty
minutes of boring photography and
over-acting, I knew my thoughts
were defeated. The script literally
goes nowhere and the plot “secrets”
are painfully obvious about halfway
through. Time to polish up the ol’
skull.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
At first the tape wouldn’t
play, but then, all was well. Whew!
The picture quality wasn’t
so nice. I wonder how many suckers
fell for a rental back in the day?
EXTRAS
Completely, thoroughly, absolutely...denied.
FINAL THOUGHTS
One thing’s for sure. This
old big box looks very nice on my
shelf. From now on, whenever my
eyes glide over the beaming red
type on the side, I’ll just
imagine what kind of film really
exists in that white keepcase. That’s
all I can do. |
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