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GALAXY INVADER (1985)
Directed by Don Dohler
United Home Video VHS
Reviewed 03.01.07
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
In a New Yorker article
titled "The UFO Menace,"
Woody Allen imparted a question
that heightened the pulse of the
American public.
Is anything out there? And if so,
do they have ray guns?
Baltimore calls back with a resounding
"Yes."
Galaxy Invader is not an
Intellivision rarity. Rather, it's
a Don Dohler rarity. The touching
story of an alien, his ray gun,
and a rat-bastard, redneck Jimmy
Stewart impersonator, Galaxy
Invader finds late genre renaissance
man Dohler at a point of expansion.
He charmed our late-nite pants off
with The
Alien Factor in 1978. He
peaked our curiosity (and sleeping
patterns) with Fiend
in 1980. He made the trash-gore
olympics with Nightbeast
in 1982. In 1985, lo-fi maestro
Dohler completed Galaxy Invader,
a throwback to 1978's PG-level high
jinks, but with an added level of
"development." It's less
about the alien and more about the
people. Granted, those people are
still portrayed by folks you'd find
down at a local independent pharmacy,
but far be it from me to snub good
intentions.
Hoist the ray guns! Following the
pattern of, well, all of Dohler's
previous films, an alien crash lands
somewhere in Baltimore. He looks
like Skeletor as interpreted by
Sid And Marty Krofft, has a glowing
orb belt buckle, and brandishes
a swift laser gun. After killing
a random couple, our story shifts
from "The Space Man" to
a family of redneck slobs. Dad (the
mysterious Jimmy Stewart guy) lets
a little breakfast-time domestic
violence lead to chasing his daughter
through the woods with a shotgun.
Much shooting ensues. Our two leads
meet. Dad wants that orb! It'll
bring big bucks! One bar full of
gigantic eye-glasses later, and
the posse agrees. Can the redneck
family stop Dad? Can a college professor
and his ex-student save The Space
Man? Stall the sands of sleep and
stare in disbelief as the ending
reveals all.
Uneventful, but semi-entertaining.
That sums it up. While the somber
mood and more involved themes bode
well for Galaxy Invader,
the vacant second half drowns everything
out. Drowsiness is inevitable. Dohler
has a great propensity for analog
synth placement, odd, rapid edits,
resourceful homemade effects, and
hysterical casting decisions, but
this time around, variation is in
short supply. The absurdity wears
thin by the time a pipe-cleaner
dummy is hoisted off a cliff. Oh
well. We'll always have Nightbeast.
The validity of The UFO Menace has
been settled. Alas, the knowledge
is bittersweet.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
Actually, quite terrific. Aside
from some flatness in color, Galaxy
Invader is the cleanest, most
professional looking print that
Don Dohler ever produced. The film
also appears on Mill Creek's "Sci
Fi Classics" DVD 50 pack, but
I don't own it.
EXTRAS
I'm in the mood for some "Zaxxon."
Time to de-box the Intellivision.
FINAL THOUGHTS
This ray gun is fresh out of juice.
Don Dohler's final vintage bow through
space invaders territory reaches
higher, but lands lower. Galaxy
Invader passes an evening just
fine. However, unless you pride
yourself on being a D.D. completist,
there's no rush to see it. Especially
if Blood
Massacre has yet to grace
your living room. |
In talks for Vertigo II
Bestill my heart
Galaxy bully
Orbonomics
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