GIRLS ON THE ROAD (1973)
aka HOT SUMMER WEEK Directed by Thomas J. Schmidt
Unicorn Video, Inc. VHS
THE FILM
The Beach Boys' "Girls On The Beach" is a minor (but gorgeous) ballad from 1964's "All Summer Long". If nothing else, the film Girls On The Road may prompt your brain to free associate and endlessly cycle through that song for the next day or so. See what I'm getting at?
Girls On The Road opens with a theme song. It declares, "This is the ecstasy of your fantasy in love." The singing is off-key. There are saxophones. The whole thing appears to be a senior citizen's latent interpretation of The Summer Of Love. Clearly, this is not a good song. However, the film goes on to deliver two girls on the road (for ten minutes), a Vietnam vet suffering from hallucinogenic flashbacks, a hippy beach commune (they wear facepaint), one axe murder, and people driving over sidewalks. Logic tells us that things should even out.
They do not.
Debbie! Karen! They're giddy! And boring! Still, we're encouraged to join 'em as they embark on a Big Sur summer road trip. To get laid. Of course, our girls pick up a crazy 'Nam vet named Will, who beats the shit out of people for no reason. Pot is smoked. An acoustic guitar is stolen. Free love is (kind of) championed. After hours of repetitive warble-flashbacks and a bit of waffling, Will introduces the girls to a hippy psychiatry kibbutz on a beach. It's led by another crazy guy named "The Maker", who looks like a blonde Ace Frehley. The beach is proportionately sinister. The script is not. Therein lies the defeat.
We all enjoy an unsettling day at the beach circa 1970. Just look at Last Summer or Terror At Red Wolf Inn. Effective. Singular. And constructed with a resourceful consciousness across the board. Conversely, Girls is imbued with the innocence of a Partridge Family episode on a Harry Novak budget. But, whereas Mr. Novak might rescue a similar film with unexpected bouts of pathos/hilarity and heaps of exploitation, Girls is ultimately content with misguided semantics, a bland itinerary, and .5 seconds of nudity. In short, it's a time capsule bereft of satiation.
There's always next summer.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
The print is ragged, but colorful, and I was able to decipher each instance of the word "fantasy" during the theme song (that's a lot of instances). So yeah, Unicorn nails it.
EXTRAS
I just threw on the "Little Deuce Coupe/All Summer Long" two-fer. Its been awhile. Thank you, Thomas J. Schmidt!
FINAL THOUGHTS
Debbie and Karen were desperate. If you can relate, Girls On The Road might possibly make you smile. However, it's more likely that a viewing will cause you to doze on the couch while thinking of other things...such as the REAL ecstasy of your fantasy in love. Is that a bad thing? You tell me.
— Joseph A. Ziemba, 08.04.10 | 
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