HARD ROCK NIGHTMARE (1988) Directed by Dominick Brascia
O.E.M. VHS
THE FILM
Is a werewolf killing the members of hard rocking band The Bad Boys? Is it also killing their lady friends? Is the music of The Bad Boys any good? Can the gentlemen who brought us Evil Laugh teach us a little something about ourselves and throw in a few scares while they're at it?
No. No. No. A bit.
The Bad Boys head off to a cabin in the middle of the woods to rehearse their rock. They bring their sound mixer and some lady friends along. The cabin belongs to one of the members, the singer. He killed his Grandfather when he was young because, frankly, his grandfather was a prick. He used to tell the kid he worshipped Satan and that he was a vampire. So, the impressionable kid drives a stake through Gampy's heart. When the group arrives, they start dying. Is it...a werewolf?
Yeah, I know, this does sound a bit like Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare. But, it's the toned-down version. It's all in the music. Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare is heavy metal (well, 80s metal). Hard Rock Nightmare is hard rock. It wants to go into the realm of metal but it's far more commercial and safer to say in Hard Rock Town. Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare is rather mad and quite loopy. Hard Rock Nightmare is for the kid who couldn't listen to Metallica but loved Van Halen.
You know, I'm hoping that made sense. Really what I'm after is this...Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare has a little bit more of everything you want (except blood). The hair is bigger. The music louder. The monsters are crazy. The gals are nuder. The pecs on the hero are bigger. The climax and the resolution are floating in a beautiful, loony space.
Hard Rock is calmer on all fronts. The absurd moments are a little less absurd. The music isn't as loud. We are lower on the hair. The monster is pretty normal. The resolution is Hard Rock Scooby Doo. Is this good?
Yeah. I enjoyed it. It's a fun 90 minutes. Any parody that appears is much calmer than in Evil Laugh, but there is some there. (The reference to the music of Friday The 13th is a nice one.) It has an unexpectedly neat character moment during the scene where the groupie finally sleeps with the member of the band she's been after for months. It turns out the band member is a lousy lay and she laughs at him. But, it's not done in a "What a Bitch!" manner. She seems very surprised and he does too. "I've never had any complaints before!" I liked it. The whole film slows up a bit in the last half hour with an amusing, but pretty time-wasting, dream sequence. However, any film that closes with the line "Fuck You, Uncle Gary!" is worth watching.
Really, I shouldn't compare the two films. Every film should stand on its own, even the ones that feel very similar to others. I think it's the fair way to go. So...on its own, Hard Rock Nightmare, if you find it, watch it. You'll like it.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
The audio was kind of muffled but when it needed to rock, it rocked. The video was hilariously terrible. The opening scene has a sepia-like tone over it to give it a past/ dream feel. But then, when the film starts properly, it still sort of looks like that. It's all sort of ghostly and slightly yellow and mushy. I loved it. It gives the film its own look. I could see it on a small screen from across a football field and know what it was.
EXTRAS
Zero.
FINAL THOUGHTS
A good late-80's slasher-esque film. You'll sit down. You'll sing along. You'll smile. There's a good scare or two. Some of it is really dumb. It's a tasty stew. Although, like stew, there might be an onion hiding in there that brings down the overall enjoyment a bit.* But, you'll make it through.
*I don't like onions.
— Joseph A. Ziemba, 01.10.08 | 
World's Worst Grandpa
Taking it to the limit
Calling Evil Laugh
F-you, Uncle Gary.
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