Humongous (1982) Directed by Paul Lynch
Embassy VHS
THE FILM
Dog Island used to be a wonderful place. But then, during Labour Day Weekend 1946, Ida Parsons was sexually assaulted in the woods. Her attacker was killed by the island's dogs. And, Ida stayed on the island...secluding herself away...keeping a terrible secret...Pity the six people who crash on Dog Island in the middle of the night. They are doomed.
Doesn't it stink when a film feels like it should be really good stuff? When it teeters right on the edge but doesn't quite get there for whatever reason? Darn it, Humongous. You almost kicked ass. That write-up above almost kicks ass in ten different ways and that's, basically, the premise for the film. Why does it not work?
The film has atmosphere and a slowly accumulating back-story that is interesting until it's all revealed. At that point, it becomes less interesting and slightly confusing. What it doesn't have on its side, unfortunately, are interesting characters and enough story to justify 92 minutes of film. And, that's unfortunate.
We're no strangers here to films that overstay their welcome. I adore Don't Go In The Woods but three minutes of the Sheriff wandering around is enough. Twice that is Sleepy-Time. Berserker has far too much running around in the second half. (Oddly enough, only the really cheap Lunchmeat seems to sustain itself in the "running from the killer for half a movie" category.) But, Humongous really stretches it out...The opening third is interminable set-up. The remaining hour is mostly creeping around. When Sandy says that she left the matches in the lodge and that they're going to have to go back in and sneak around some more, my heart sunk.
Let me jump to what I think really goofs me up with this film. It's from 1981/2. It's from the makers of Prom Night. And, like Prom Night, it seems like it's right from the land of Slashers. But, like Prom Night, it only has the trappings of slasher films around it. The pre-credits opening that takes place in 1946. The group of young people stalked and killed. The killer returning from the dead at the last minute. But, it's really more of a, I don't know, Survival kind of film. Six people crash on an island and are stalked and killed by the crazed inhabitant.
Prom Night seems like a slasher but I still stand by my ravings that it's a thriller/ mystery. Humongous is in a different realm itself. Look at the first half hour. The main characters are out on a boat. They're passing the island. One of them (the big jerk in the group) crashes the boat and the horror begins. But, they don't go to a summer camp with a killer. It's not a holiday with significance. The gears of the plot can be heard creaking along to get everyone to the island. They pick up a shipwrecked man who tells them all about Dog Island. Then, a little while later, they crash on it.
I applaud the attempts to make a different sort of horror film at that time. But, the film shafts itself by having slasher film characters. In general, I could give a crap about the people in slasher films. They wander into the Killing Realm and do their thing. The fun in the films before the killing is just watching them run through their cliches and knowing that their deaths are right around the corner. But, in this one, it is an accident one-third of the way into the film that puts them in danger. A stupid act leads to the survival runs they all have to go through.
But, the characters are right out of slashers. So, until they wind up in danger, it's kind of painful. We don't care about them and they're just out having fun. By time they hit the island, they become completely interchangeable. Who lives? Who dies? Who cares? There just isn't enough happening. That's OK if we care about the people or if there is a lot of side killing but here...there's nothing. It drags, like the second half of The Prowler.
Maybe if it had been a straightforward slasher it would be more fun to watch now. A boat with 10 folks comes to this "deserted" island and start getting killed. But, the filmmakers try something different and there are some creepy moments and there is a slight sense of style to it...but it's not enough. Think of it this way: To me, the least interesting parts of slashers are the Final Chases. They usually just don't have enough action, excitement or suspense in them. They feel like something the filmmakers do regardless of whether they can pull it off or not. Humongous does that for half of its running time.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
The audio was fine. There are some creepy synths floating around.
The video...well, it's dark. Long stretches of the films passed by and I couldn't see a damn thing. There is a lot of creeping around in the dark. And, this film makes it very dark. I'd love to see a decent print.
I'm reminded of a review of this I read back in 2002-ish. The reviewer had had a long week. He said this film was awesome because it was so dark during large portions and very little happened. He said you could fall asleep for long stretches and not miss a thing. I'm afraid he's right.
EXTRAS
VHS has an entertaining back cover but no extras.
FINAL THOUGHTS
In theory, I have a good time watching this atmospheric and slightly creepy film. In practice, the dull characters and endless wandering around make me sleepy. Get me a nice DVD of this and I might change my mind.
Of course, I seem to end up watching this film once every couple years. I'm not sure what that says about me.
— Dan Budnik, 03.04.10 | 
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