I
DISMEMBER MAMA (1974)
Directed by Paul Leder
Video Gems VHS
Reviewed 01.01.05
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
Now I’m frustrated. I’ve
searched all over the house and
can’t seem to find any Pepto
(as in “Bismol”). It’s
a necessity too. “Poor”
Albert kind of grossed me out.
As a rule, I never over-research
a film before I see it. That kind
of behavior tends to ruin the mood,
you know? Anyway, it’s a rare
moment when I actually wish I would
have delved a little deeper before
plunking down a few bucks and 90
minutes. In this case, it’s
a double negative; not only was
I riveted as a kid from the I
Dismember Mama/Blood Spattered Bride
double feature trailer, but I’ve
also made a point of not reading
too much about Dismember,
the rarer of the two films, before
seeing it. So when I chanced upon
an old big box VHS, I couldn’t
say no. Gearing up for a sure-fire
night of junk entertainment, imagine
my surprise as Dismember
unfolded...
Albert (Zooey Hall, looking like
a mutant Ben Stiller) lives in a
loony bin, placed there after an
unsuccessful attempt at killing
his rich, widowed mother. He spends
his days projecting his “films,”
which are alluded to as adult entertainment
and obsessing about “undefiled”
women. After attacking and nearly
raping a nurse and killing an orderly,
Albert escapes and heads for home.
Mama, you’d better watch out.
Since his mom is away, Albert tortures
and kills the maid, then makes friends
with the maid’s 10 year old
daughter, Annie. Take a deep breath.
Albert falls in love with Annie,
who acts like a third rate Jan Brady.
He says, “I’d like to
be your father...your friend...your
playmate.” A police detective
screams “Fer Christ Sakes!!”
way too much. After a day at an
amusement park, Albert gives Annie
kisses and brings her to a fancy
hotel in the city. Since he can’t
bring himself to profess his love,
Albert hires a prostitute, brings
her back to the room, and strangles
her. Annie sees it. The jig is up.
Blow some chunks.
While I Dismember Mama
is, at times, a successful and original
weirdo thriller, the basest levels
of enjoyment are overshadowed by
a whiff of unpleasantness. And some
really awful music. Aside from the
uncomfortable plot turns with Annie,
the film suffers from an overt misogyny
that’s hard to ignore. Of
the four kill scenes in the film,
the sole male incident is shown
to the viewer in a few-second aftermath.
Subsequently, each female scene
lingers on for minutes on end, as
Albert barks degrading orders before
moving in for the nudity-filled
kill. Add to that the never-ending
diatribes about “pure”
virginal women and you’ve
got a serious streak of mean-spiritedness
that reeks of cheap exploitation.
But not the good kind. Reign it
all in with some bored-stiff padding,
a spark of interesting photography,
and that ear-ripping theme song:
“Poor Albert.” Indeed.
After waiting so many years to see
Dismember, I’ve come
to the realization that the trailer
I saw during my childhood was a
masterpiece. There weren’t
any actual scenes from this film
in it.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
The picture was nice; a little scratchy,
but clearer than most old tapes.
The mono sound was horrid, which
is mostly due to the original recordings.
Hey, let’s place a microphone
way up in a loft corner to pick
up the dialogue. Sounds bad.
EXTRAS
Video Gems is not a company I’ve
been previously familiar with. After
the glorious purple-screened, distorto-laser
introduction, I’m sure we’ll
be great friends.
FINAL THOUGHTS
I Dismember Mama is somewhat
suspenseful and definitely bizarre.
However, given the subject matter
and so-so execution, it’s
not something I’d ever want
to see again. Choose wisely. |
The lurk-sulk
He's had it up to here
Albert & Annie
Cool coat = hot date
|
