Miami Horror (1985)
aka Miami Golem Directed by Alberto De Martino
Action International Pictures VHS
THE FILM
"How's the Filthy Swine?"
"The Old Nazi?"
They are talking about the same guy.
Florida. Boy, foreign filmmakers made some interesting stuff down there in the second half of the 80s. Has anyone written a book on the industry down there? Hmmm...if they haven't, well, I like writing. Anyway...
David Warbeck is a wisecracking TV reporter who gets involved in great, ancient Supernatural Events involving John Ireland and music that is almost the Miami Vice music. A woman with a very "Special" origin and an unflattering haircut helps him out. A strange baby is born. There are shootouts, car chases, scenes deep in the swamp and all that great sort of stuff. It's a supernatural, action film made by some good-time Italians. It is set in Miami. It is dubbed with all the voices we know and love. A lot of these shot-in-America Italian jobs at this time had live sound. I wonder if this was one of the last dubbed ones. Regardless, it drags a little of that early 80s charm forward.
I don't think anyone making this film had any ambition that it might be anything but a time-waster. And, it works perfectly. It's got some action and some charm. The plot is loopy enough to keep you watching. David Warbeck is his usual self. A scene on the video repeats itself (just like in Gang Wars). There are some strange effects and it all ends with me shrugging and saying "That was fun".
Well, they can't all be The Rules Of The Game. Some films are just made to pass the time. And, with Miami Horror, we have the perfect example. It goes along. It does its thing. It ends.
Well, I have nothing more to say....Here's what I'll do...
If someone reading this has seen the movie and liked it, really liked it....write a couple paragraphs on it and send it in. I've watched it three times. Why did I do that? What interesting thing happened that I can't put into words? My wife wanted me to pick out paint colors for the living room. (Feel free to write in: Cappuccino vs. Latté for the fireplace wall) I watched this instead. She didn't mind but I feel terrible. What is there to love about Miami Horror?
Write in. Tell me. If we like it, we'll put it in this place. If no one writes in, I'll update you on our color choices. (I had no idea that there were so many shades of beige.)
AUDIO AND VIDEO
Oh, it looks awful. "Your drum machine has a lot to answer for!"
EXTRAS
That scene repeats. I call that an extra.
FINAL THOUGHTS
They created a life form from meteorite debris of some sort. When I say they, I mean "The Filthy Nazi" or whatever his name was. I'd love to know if Miami Horror was the undying dream of one person or whether they shot 90 minutes of footage and someone said "Hey! I think there's a movie in here!"
I'd love to know.
— Dan Bundik, 04.22.10 | 
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