NEW
YEAR’S EVIL (1981)
Directed by Emmett Alston
Paragon VHS
Reviewed 08.10.04
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
Hey you -- do you like Erik Estrada?
Up for a party at his house? If
so, I can definitely make it happen.
So yeah, you should come along.
Lemme pull up the Mercedes and adjust
my fake (I mean REAL) worldly mustache.
I’ll tell you all about it
on the way over...and don’t
mind the switchblade. It’s
just for show.
Delicately walking the tight rope
between hilarity and chills, New
Year’s Evil has staked
its claim as prime entertainment
in my VCR for the night. I won’t
speak for anyone else, but I know
I can’t resist the sight of
a little mental patient Soul
Train amidst a slipshod, MTV-esque
new year’s broadcast. And
how about a “New Wave”
countdown that features a gutter
version of Rush, blues jamz, and
fake punks singing about dumb blondes?
Give it up, people!
So you’ve guessed that the
setting is a new year’s eve
TV broadcast, right? Well, there’s
a disguise-changin’ killer
on the loose that calls in and warns
Blaze, the host, that he’ll
kill a girl as each time zone strikes
midnight. For chuckles, the Clint
Eastwood clone records each killing
on a massive ‘81 boombox and
plays them over the phone, complete
with his hilarious mad-scientist
vibrato. Inbetween calls, we get
some drama with Blaze and her nutjob
son (red tights, anyone?), some
laughs from the dead-fish dancin’
audience, and even more laughs from
the bad acting and dialogue (“Apparently,
he’s using some kind of voice
processor!”). As we ride shotgun
to some exciting Hollywood locales
(drive-in, liquor store dumpster),
the killer makes his way to the
TV studio, where his ultimate goal
will be achieved. Or will it? And
just who is this guy anyway? Wait
'til he pulls out the uber-creepy
Stan Laurel mask.
More thriller than slasher, New
Year’s Evil tries to
fool you in the end -- giving the
killer a complete psychological
motive (you’ll be on the floor
as a “psychiatrist”
arrives at the studio with his fancy
double talk), fully explained and
none too convincing. But by that
time, it’s much too late.
Although the kill scenes were effective,
the thick sludge of 80s excess makes
it impossible to take this film
seriously. There are a few interesting
editing tricks and some gruesome
blood, but let’s face it:
this is a straight forward, hilarious
party romp. What’s YOUR resolution
this year? Ouch!
AUDIO AND VIDEO
For the most part, a pretty good
lookin’ full frame print with
distorto-mono sound. Sometimes a
blue tint would overtake the screen
for a second or two. The box was
all cut up, made to order for a
white clamshell rental from “Video
Update.”
EXTRAS
Something stinks around here.
FINAL THOUGHTS
No classic, but no time-waster either,
New Year’s Evil is
tip-top 80s junk and perfect for
a night’s entertainment. I
mean, the terrible music alone is
enough reason to donate your 85
minutes. |
Hot lips
Cool smokes
Boob tube pop rocks
A fine mess
|
