THE PUMPKINMAN SAGA (2004)
Directed by David “The Rock” Nelson
David “The Rock” Nelson VHS
Reviewed 06.30.04
Buy It From David "The Rock" Nelson

THE FILM
After his most gratuitous display of on-camera food devouring I’ve yet witnessed, David “The Rock” Nelson provides a disclaimer: “I don’t really eat like that, it’s just for comedy.” Well...that’s a relief.

A return to form of sorts for The Rock, The Pumpkinman Saga features five Pumpkinman-themed shorts: “Pumpkinman,” “Pumpkinman 2,” “Son Of Pumpkinman,” “Janet Vs. Pumpkinman,” and “Night Of The Pumpkinmen,” all interspersed with random, caffeine-fueled weirdo antics and trailers. This tape harkens back to Nelson’s earlier Video Shorts compilations, only with less variety and more insanity. Yes, you read that right. The intensity of strangeness appearing herein was so high that I needed to press “stop” a few times just to gain my bearings.

“Pumpkinman” and its sequel (both shot in 1993 and edited in 2004) are indistinguishable from each other. Basically, there’s a trash can with a white sheet and jack o’ lantern perched on top. Rock Nelson and his brother Phil take turns attacking the “monster” over and over...and over (“The guns have no effect! Stinkin’ Monster! Do it for the Marines! Hoo-ah!”). These two shorts follow the tried and true formula for early Nelson films, but there’s also a catch. This time around, the threat is an inanimate object (garbage can) instead of a human being with a rubber monster mask. Classic. So far, the tape was pretty much what I expected (save for a monologue regarding the “stupid” intentions of these films).

And then we hit a tangent. Remember that intro paragraph? Well, The Rock’s obsessive tendencies towards eating scenes take center stage in “Son Of Pumpkinman,” easily out-grossing John Waters’ chicken scene in Serial Mom by a longshot. See! David Nelson submit to a crusty hamburger, straight from the grimy stove top. See! Detective Rock pummel a plate of eggs and other stuff in excruciating close-ups. See! More coffee ingested than you could ever dream possible. Still haven’t had enough? Stand by while Detective Rock tosses a foam brick at the Eddie Deezen-sounding “Son Of Pumpkinman” for FIFTEEN MINUTES. This includes shout-outs to Jerry Warren, Ed Wood, Roger Corman, Fred Olen Ray, and dozens of others. Soon after, the short morphs into Nelson speaking directly into the camera for minutes on end, relating all sorts of good stuff about life and monster movies. Where am I?!

After that descent into madness, we’re back on track with “Janet Vs. Pumpkinman” (1995) and Rock’s latest opus of magnificence, “Night Of The Pumpkinman” (2004). Both shorts are quintessential Rock Nelson: spooky cemeteries, exciting Des Plaines, IL locations, and gooey food consumption. “Night” may very well be Rock’s defining moment and his most enjoyable “film” yet. You’ll be stunned by an actual soundtrack comprised of spookily cool organ, some semblance of a plot (the Pumpkinmen rise on Halloween eve to wreak twenty four hours of mayhem), a large cast, the presence of “Rocksella” (Nelson in drag, ala Ed Wood!), and the most ludicrous ending yet concocted. But I won’t give it away...just be prepared for some eating. Surprised?

AUDIO AND VIDEO
It’s 2004. Rocky Nelson refuses to step beyond the constraints of an 8 mm camcorder and VHS editing deck. More power to him.

EXTRAS
But of course. Filling out the runtime (and inbetween the shorts), Rocky Nelson provides a boatload of haphazard video outings. Amongst the ones that stick out, there’s “Deadbeat Drive-In,” which mixes genuine drive-in promos with footage of an abandoned drive-in, tons of eating scenes revolving around pumpkin-themed snacks, a Pumpkinman trading card promo, a trip to a pumpkin patch with Rock and Janet, another Rock appearance on WGN-TV, and trailers for “Ghost Of Pumpkinman” and “Pumpkinman’s Ghoul-Fiend.” There’s a lot more too, but the footage flew by so fast that I have a hard time recalling all of it.

FINAL THOUGHTS
In an odd turn of events, The Pumpkinman Saga seemed to focus more on food than monsters. Grub even becomes the means to an end during “Night Of The Pumpkinmen.” What’s Nelson trying to say? You’ve gotta eat if you wanna live. Think about it. And while you’re thinking, buy this tape. 

Deadbeat Drive-In


"Sheets are my favorite garb!"


P-man invades


Rock sez: "That's gibberish!"