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RETURN TO BOGGY CREEK (1978)
Directed by Tom Moore
CBS/Fox Home Video VHS
Reviewed 12.01.05
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
When mankind finally captures Bigfoot,
that first public interview will
be very telling. People across the
globe will want their burning questions
answered. Our friend, the intelligent
Sasquatch, will surely oblige.
"Mr. Yeti, why the isolation;
why the reluctance to show your
face amongst our world?"
With welling tears and a nervous
laugh, Bigfoot will adjust his wire-rimmed
glasses and slowly reply.
"Friends, Dignitaries, people
of the press: I thank you for your
interest and compassion. However,
the time has come to rectify a terrible
mistake in the history of the homosapien.
You are all familiar with the film
Return To Boggy Creek.
This motion picture was an insolent
travesty on your part; a complete
insult to the reputation of my people.
We were forced to walk with our
heads held low. Humankind will now
pay for their sins."
At that point, the Sasquatch from
Night Of The Demon will
be unleashed from his cage. Everyone's
arms will be ripped off. You do
the crime, you serve the time.
Before Charles Pierce followed up
his classic, The
Legend Of Boggy Creek,
with an abysmal sequel of his own
(Boggy
Creek II, 1981), TV director
Tom Moore shat out Return To
Boggy Creek in 1978. It's an
unrelated, G-rated migraine that
follows the story of three backwoods
kids as they search for "Big-Bay-Tie"
(that's Bigfoot to you and me) with
the help of a "detective kit,"
a couple of old farts, and lots
of banjo music. Along for the ride
is Dawn Wells (Mary Ann from Gilligan's
Island), a young Dana Plato (Kimberly
from Diff'rent Strokes), and lots
of contemptible padding. A mute
kid speaks his first words at the
end, after our gorilla-suited, Frankenstein-lumbering
Sasquatch helps the kids find their
way home during a storm. Inspiration
can be so beautiful.
Aside from some nice photography,
Return To Boggy Creek is
all thumbs. Gutter acting, inept
dialogue (memo to Mr. Bruno: please
get off the screen), annoying greasy
kids' stuff, and a stumbling pace.
At least Tom Moore gave us Mark
Of The Witch before going
all Benedict Arnold on The Wonder
Years and Felicity.
Maybe the Sasquatch hordes will
spare him on judgment day.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
The pan and scan print looks pretty
terrific, for the most part. Nice
clarity, color, and contrast. The
mono sound was perfectly fine.
EXTRAS
For sure. The big box is a sliding
wonder; a mini-drawer holds the
magical tape within. Far more fascinating
than the film itself.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Burn the banjos and melt the harmonicas.
Return To Boggy Creek is
far and away the most unaccomplished
Sasquatch film you'll ever force
yourself to finish, unless you're
within the ages of 8-13. Don't see
it. |
Even grumpier old men
Tug that boat, B.F.
Waiting for Arnold...or Dudley
Let's hope so
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