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SILENT MADNESS (1984)
Directed by Simon Nuchtern
Media Home Entertainment VHS
Reviewed 02.15.07
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
When rotund Sheriff Liggett bellows
"Get the fuck out of here and
lemme eat in peace!" with that
striking Richard Simmons timbre,
he's not futzing around. Nor is
Silent Madness.
Before filming commenced, Silent
Madness gathered a group of
slasher peers for lunch. The film
was feeling a tinge of anxiety about
its intended straight-forward approach.
Affirmation was sought. The script
was reviewed. Night
Warning was the first to
speak up: "Well, you need more
weird sex stuff. Definitely."
Next, Girls
Nite Out pitched in with,
"Your killer is just a guy
in work pants. Its been done. Try
a rabbit costume." Finally,
Rocktober Blood yelped,
"What? No cat-screams? Pussy.
WATCH ME ROCK."
Dejected, Silent Madness
slept on it. Then, at 3 AM that
night, as if by fate, inspiration
hit. "I've got a sorority house.
The synth orchestra is already booked.
An escaped mental patient is in
place. And hey, I like
Friday The 13th Part 3
and Halloween II. Those
other guys can get the fuck out
of here! I'm gonna make this movie
in peace! Hey...I like the sound
of that..." History was written.
There would be no extended tangents,
deeper plans, or dubious novelties.
Except, of course, for the 3-D parts.
And plump, unproductive Sheriff
Liggett. Integrity never comes easy.
Say hello to Howard Johns. Not John
Howard. Crazy (and mute) Mr. Johns
is mistaken for cured inmate John
Howard and released from Cresthaven
Asylum, the result of a "computer
glitch." Oh, hell no! Soon
enough, pasty-faced Howie makes
with the fresh kills, en route to
the "College For Women,"
where he has a bit of history. A
shaggin' wagon is destroyed and
skateboarding is very much a crime
(at least to Howard). Meanwhile,
the intrepid Dr. Joan Gilmore seeks
to Get To The Bottom Of Things.
She's willing to go undercover at
the college, in order to whiff out
some answers. Why are Cresthaven's
Orderlies so sleazy? What's the
secret of the sorority house mother?
More importantly, why doesn't Sheriff
Leggitt get more screentime? As
the man himself states, "We
can't all think with our dicks!"
Quite right, Sheriff. Quite right.
Released theatrically in 3-D and
presented flat ever since, Silent
Madness is the cheap rehash
we all know and yearn for. Aside
from a few deadened stretches of
dialogue, there's no room to complain.
Synths are ravishing. Grit is ingrained.
Photography brainstorms with the
then-waning 3-D novelty, resulting
in resourceful kill scenes and a
competent structure. Combine it
all with decent acting from recognizable
leads, a few laughs, some jumps,
and a little twist or two, and you've
got a virtuous indie-slasher that
sticks to the basics and sets the
evening ablaze with warmth.
So how does Sheriff Leggitt feel
about all of this high praise?
"That's the best news I've
heard since the Mayor dropped dead!"
If that's a compliment, I'll take
it.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
Weird, but fun. The clean print
is vertically stretched, heavy on
the reds, and majorly cropped on
the sides. Things swirl and fuzz
a bit during the now-flattened 3-D
sequences (and sometimes in odd,
random spots as well), but I thought
it looked neat.
EXTRAS
The first level of the "Dragon's
Lair" arcade game was IMPOSSIBLE.
Relive the frustration about 60
minutes in.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Have faith in work pants. Silent
Madness keeps things simple
and familiar. Aside from a few dull
moments, the film summates straight
forward, 1984 cheap-slasher magic
quite superbly. Get the you-know-what
out of here and grab a copy. |
College For Women
Don't call him John
The Leggitt Way
3-D me
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