SPOOKIES
(1986)
Directed by Eugenie Joseph, Thomas
Doran, and Brendan Faulkner
Sony VHS
Reviewed 12.15.04
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
Winner! 1986 Delirium Award from
the International Science Fiction
& Film Fantasy Festival (15th
annual!). That’s what the
little stamp on the cover of this
VHS reads. Wow, if Spookies
was the blue ribbon, can you imagine
the fanciful classics that didn’t
win?! Wait a minute -- you haven’t
seen the movie yet. We can joke
later.
Filmed in upstate New York, Spookies
began life as an ambitious, throw-every-monster-into-the-pot
special effects reel from ‘84
called Twisted Souls, directed
by Thomas Doran. Editor Eugenie
Joseph must have seen something
special in the footage, as she filled
in the cracks with her own reels
and cobbled the two together. I’m
not sure what that third guy brought
to the party, but it couldn’t
have been much. I’ll tell
you why. Spookies rips
up (and off) Saturday The 14th,
The Evil Dead, and Ghoulies
into a plotless cavalcade of
bad comedy and goofy monster effects.
It’s really not that good.
Don’t worry, you didn’t
walk in halfway through the picture.
It just feels that way. A zombie
rises from his grave, dressed like
a third rate Wayne Newton. A thirteen
year old birthday brat walks through
the cemetery, meets a homeless biker
guy, and stumbles onto an old mansion.
The mansion houses a young actor
with old-man make-up and his dead
bride, who blinks with her closed
eyes and sleeps in a coffin. It
seems that the “old man”
needs to sacrifice people to bring
back his wife, but we never get
the integral who-what-why-how. After
the zombie buries the kid alive
(ouch!), a group of younguns and
olduns arrive at the mansion to
do nothing. From there, a mash-up
of old school special effects monsters
kill off the party and run around
the house. There’s a possessed
woman ala Evil Dead, a
group of flatulent dirt monsters
(funny the first time, but after
a few minutes...), the Grim Reaper
himself, and an army of zombies.
Just to name a few. A guy with a
pencil moustache tells jokes and
people walk around corridors while
talking. Another guy jumps head
first through a wooden door and
Mr. Grim Reaper falls off a balcony
and blows up. I mean a total explosion.
Uh, I guess that’s about it.
Looking past the obvious technical
faults, which include really poor
editing (in a bad way -- dialogue
is sometimes chopped from hasty
cuts), lots of talk-acting, and
glaring inconsistencies in tone,
Spookies offers up a ten
year old horror fan’s greatest
wish: lots of gooey monsters and
special effects. The pony has played
its trick. Some of the monsters
are kind of fun and recall a dorky,
special effects-worshipping era
in filmmaking (the Grim Reaper gets
my vote), but the end result comes
up empty and frequently boring.
I did enjoy the concluding zombie
romp though.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
Welcome to the darkness. Washed
out colors that lean towards monochrome
at times (heavy on the blues and
greens) mix with an extremely dark
print and give you a mushy watch.
The mono sound was ok, but some
of the dialogue was soft on the
ears. That means I couldn’t
hear it.
EXTRAS
Sony crimps on us. Unacceptable!
FINAL THOUGHTS
Despite its aspiring intentions,
Spookies enters the books
as strictly average; a sub Ghoulies
horror comedy with a case of the
zzzz’s. You and I both know
there’s better stuff out there. |
Portfolio headshot #1
Portfolio headshot #2
Here comes the 'Reap
Boo-hoo blue
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