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THREE ON A MEATHOOK (1973)
Directed by William Girdler
Regal VHS
Reviewed 07.06.06
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
I can't prove that late director
William Girdler was fond of playing
darts. However, I'd bet dollars
to doughnuts that a dartboard hung
in the guy's rec room. There's got
to be some kind of explanation behind
the decision-making process of this
film.
It's the middle of nowhere. A watch
stops. A car dies. It's twenty to
midnight and a thunderstorm approaches.
So sets the stage for Three
On A Meathook, the wavering,
semi-sparkling second film from
tragic director-writer William Girdler.
Very loosely inspired by the horrible
exploits of Wisconsin killer Ed
Gein (which would later enkindle
two genre benchmarks: Deranged
and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre),
Meathook is all about displacement.
Your displacement. Midway through,
the film's cheap-yet-potent initial
clout falls victim to a one-two
punch of passé elements and
lousy padding. The results are unexpected
and nearly ruinous. Fortunately,
hope perks up; you just have to
know where to find it. Check out
back by the old shed. That's where
Paw keeps the meathooks.
Billy lives in a secluded farmhouse
with his Paw (Girdler regular Charles
Kissinger). Some years ago, Maw
passed on. When Billy brings a group
of stranded women home, Paw sees
red. So do the girls. Paw blames
Billy for the butchery ("You
know how you get..."), but
something's rotten on the farm.
And that's where things go rotten
for the movie. Billy roams the streets
while a schmaltz rock band called
The American Xpress slop through
"You gotta be free!" (think
late 60s era Tommy James & The
Shondelles, but worse). Billy sips
cocktails while the Xpress keep
on chuggin'. Billy falls for a waitress
named Sherry, pisses himself in
her bed, and invites her to weekend
getaway back home. Much obliged,
Sherry! Your "yes" just
saved the film.
Filling the cracks below Frederick
Friedel's isolated Axe
and Pete Walker's secretive Frightmare
(just with half the excitement and
budget of both), Three On a
Meathook banks on a seething
climax, lots of tan-line nudity,
and a swell twist ending. It almost
works. Although the film wallows
in a cold, distant regionality that
cushions the dated shortcomings
(merciless wah-wah pedal wanks,
montage padding), it's still restricted
by technical poops. Long, static
compositions rule the frame. Robotic
actresses deliver awkward monologues.
Eerie establishing shots work well
with Pat "Doctor
Gore" Patterson's
split second grue effects, but there's
not enough of either. Given the
film's nearly perfect mix of simplicity
and sincerity, the lack of cohesion
is unfortunate. You can swallow
the whole thing, but it's gonna
be bitter.
Three On A Meathook was
William Girdler's follow-up to the
happily convoluted Asylum
Of Satan from 1972. He
must've had better aim that year.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
Just so you know, the Regal name
is not synonymous with quality.
This isn't the worst I've seen from
them (The
Revenge Of Dr. X), but
it's not quite the "best",
either (The Devil Walks At Midnight).
The print itself is a dazzling mix
of emulsion lines, reddened tints,
and moldy scratches. Very fitting
for the film. Picture-wise, it's
a little soft and overly contrasted.
The mono sound was a bit muffled
and hissy at times.
EXTRAS
The Regal Stars 'n' Stripes.
FINAL THOUGHTS
The American Xpress says you gotta
be free...but not too free. Three
On A Meathook has a lot to
offer. Unfortunately, the contradictory
tones can't be reigned in. Worth
seeing, but don't get your hopes
up.
Thanks to Eric Robitaille for
providing a copy of this film! |
Sherry et Billy
Once you go Xpress...
Blood Shed
Out of soap
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