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TWISTED NIGHTMARE (1982)
Directed by Paul Hunt
Trans World Entertainment VHS
Reviewed 05.25.06
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILM
A man erupts in rage from a sound
sleep; his perm flattened, his whitey-tighties
in a bunch. The man's name is Dean.
We'll call him Dean The Dream. A
woman lies nearby, inquiring about
the sudden mood swing.
Dean The Dream: "Hey fuck you,
Miss Perfect! And don't you EVER
call me a pussy!"
Dean destroys a cot. Dean throws
beer cans at hitchhikers and says,
"Ha! Fuckin' asshole!".
Dean refers to other men as "homeboys".
Obviously, Dean is a blessed individual.
He is The Dream. He also has friends.
Lots of 'em. Hence, the crux of
Twisted Nightmare is revealed:
Never, ever underestimate the power
of good company.
Several special couples find a card
in their mail that reads, "You
have won a free weekend at Camp
Paradise" Campfire sparks?
Indian curses? People, please. Plot,
names, and continuity recede into
a backdrop of blood, boobs, and
cabins. Everyone dies via antler
impalements (heya, Silent
Night, Deadly Night!),
feets-through-the-chest, and teleportation.
The killer might be a retarded kid
seeking revenge, but that information
is trivial. Especially when your
face is flowing with tears of laughter.
Forget about everything; the flubbed
lines, new age country licks, wandering
boredom, and boozed-up photography
(all courtesy writer-director-producer
Paul Hunt, who produced the The
Toy Box and nothing else of
relevance). Twisted Nightmare
is all about our new friends...and
their remarkable lifestyles. Starting
with Dean The Dream and never stopping,
the film delivers an incomparable
treasure trove of 80s imbeciles.
The buff Korean guy with a weapons
fetish ("I brought my whole
arsenal"). The multicultural,
multimulleted sauna orgy. The Britney
Spears lookalike with major wig
difficulties. Eventually, you'll
beg for air. The slo-mo declarations
of "NOOOOO!" will afford
you none. After all, what are friends
for?
Twisted Nightmare is Byron
Quisenberry's Scream
on a date with Fatal
Pulse. Boring, but endlessly
hilarious. Just don't tell Dean
I said so. He'll kick my pussy ass
for sure.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
It's dark in here. During most of
the barn scenes (i.e. half of the
film), you might as well have your
eyes closed. The awful Southwestern-tinged
score was often ten times louder
than the rest of the film. Other
than that, success!
EXTRAS
No, but the film ends with a huge
explosion.
FINAL THOUGHTS
People watching has never been so
fulfilling. As a blunt slasher,
Twisted Nightmare is a
wreck of odd confusion and aimless
situations. As asinine entertainment,
the results are paramount. Add it
to the list. |
Professional
My Dawgs
Dean The Dream
Don't leave home without it
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