THERE’S
ALWAYS VANILLA (1971)
Directed by George Romero
Something Weird VHS
Reviewed 02.05.04
Review by Joseph A. Ziemba
THE FILMS
There’s Always Vanilla
is the romantic drama George Romero
directed after the classic Night
Of The Living Dead. It’s
similar to a bland gen-x movie like
Reality Bites, just shot
twenty years earlier and minus the
comedy. Much as I admire Romero’s
early work, I have to say...this
is one head-scratcher of a film.
As in: What were they thinking?
There’s not much of a plot
to be had. Two screwed up characters’
separate stories intertwine within
the first twenty minutes. From there,
a life pondering, out-of-work, philosophizing
twenty-something named Chris meets
up with model Lynn and they have
a relationship. Much pot is smoked,
much love is made, and dialogue
meanders and annoys. There’s
some kind of commentary in there
about parenthood. It all ends with
a moral and life goes on. The end.
There’s not much to enjoy
about this film, aside from the
clever edits and smart cinematography.
The acting is bad, the music is
clichéd (even by ‘71
standards), and the characters are
highly annoying. If the character
of Chris had one more sarcastic,
wise-ass monologue, I would have
been forced to jump out a window.
Although you’ll notice some
familiar faces from other early
Romero films, I can’t say
that they help much. It’s
all pretty below average.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
The print here is excellent. Nary
a scratch to be found. Unfortunately,
the audio was filled with horrible
static, but I’m guessing that
has to do with the age of the tape
and the fact that it was a rental.
I’m guessing it’s normally
crisp and clear, as there were moments
when the crust disappeared.
EXTRAS
After the feature, a series of trailers
unfolds, starting with There’s
Always Vanilla. The other trailers
were pretty sleazy. There was also
a nudie-cutie short subject called
“Double Trouble.” Why
this stuff is included on a tape
of George Romero’s snail-paced
drama is anyone’s guess.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Well, at least George Romero got
back on track two years later with
the excellent Season
Of The Witch. I can only
recommend Vanilla to the
overly curious. Otherwise, stay
far away and save yourself 90 minutes.
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Due
to extreme absent-mindedness, screenshots
were not captured before the return
of this rental VHS. Sorry for the
inconvenience.
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