Wedding Bloopers (1990)
Directed by Dan Butts
Time Life VHS
THE FILM
Back in the day, America (indeed, the world) loved their bloopers. At first, the blooper was the domain of the celebrity. As the field widened, as demand increased, those who Assembled the Foul-Ups Of The Favorites realized that "Hey! Everybody Bloops!" So, America's Funniest Home Videos hit the air and the take-offs, the rip-offs, the bloop-ahoys! spread over the airwaves and video shelves. Wedding Bloopers is one of these descendants. I don't know if it ever aired on television but it has breaks for commercials and it has a "Special Event" at the end that we build towards, a la opening Al Capone's vaults. And, it has a host: Sweet DeLane Matthews...Always remaining modest and powerful in her delineation of the innumerable categories of foul-ups and nut-rumblers that can occur during a wedding day, she is a fine host, standing proud amongst a Mock Wedding Studio set-up. Oh, and Vicki Lawrence is involved. And Dan Butts.
Problems at the altar. Problems with the cake & the bouquet & the garter. Strange people dancing. Odd behavior....All of it smothers with the fragrance of this giant ball of videos sent in by viewers (I would imagine). "Did you bloop? Send it to us! And, we'll hire professional 'funny man' Danny Butts to dub over everything with 'big laugh' commentary." This is a formula that gets big ratings. So, DeLane, take it away...
I'm not a huge America's Funniest Home Videos fan. Some of it is funny. Some of it repetitive and tired. Wedding Bloopers is a mix of those two. Parts of this tape are golden. Parts of it are big, big shrugs. Luckily, Danny covers all of it with his commentary and there is constant wacky music, spotted with "Boings!" and "Flerms!" that keep things consistently hysterical. Plus, Vicki Lawrence and a cake maker and "the most married man in the world" show up. It all looks like a real TV show, which it probably was. Although, I like the thought that it never made it to TV and just showed up on VHS so Joe and I could rent it.
My one problem with the show is related to my Rodeo Bloopers 2 troubles. I have misunderstood the definition of "blooper". A person at their wedding who stumbles over a vow. A struggle for a bouquet. A strange man dancing. That's normal human behavior. Those aren't bloopers to me. Well, they weren't...until after the video.
I had originally thought this tape would consist of things like this.
We see a couple step from the altar, freshly married. Their friends cheer. They're happy and excited about the bright future. And then...FREEZE FRAME! Words start appearing on the screen with loud "STAMP" sounds. The couple is smiling and happy. FREEZE FRAME! STAMP! "ASSHOLES! They got divorced in two years!" Blooped!
We see a large, laughing aunt fall on her behind, while she dances. FREEZE FRAME! STAMP! "This Idiot died from a ruptured spleen seven hours later!" Blooped!
And, the groom kissing the bride as the best man looks on. FREEZE FRAME! STAMP! "What a bunch of Pricks! She slept with the best man two days later!" Blooped!
That's what I expected but my definition was changed and for the better.
Dancing with Gramma...She has a big smile on her face. FREEZE FRAME! STAMP! "In three days, this old fruit will bury her husband in the basement after shoving him full of arsenic!" Blooped!
AUDIO AND VIDEO
It all looks and sounds very professional. Although, DeLane, would it kill you to open up to us a little more? I know less about you now than I did before I knew you. Don't make me go to Wikipedia.
EXTRAS
The Return of Dan Butts.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Realigning all of my parameters for blooping, I must thank you Wedding Bloopers. But, you made one error. You end the video with an Extra at the "Fake Linking Wedding With DeLane" proposing to another Extra. It is the "Big Surprise" that you tell us about in the beginning and it is hilariously anti-climactic. (Unless, they had been given a STAMP! Of some sort.) Earlier in the tape, there is a five minute section covering a beautiful outdoor wedding that is deluged with rain, hail and snow. That segment kicks ass. Take a drama tip from one of the Visionaries at Bleeding Skull...End with that. That's the good stuff. Thank you. Good night.
We hope you, the reader, have enjoyed Blooper Month.
— Dan Budnik, 03.31.11 |
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